As I have gotten older I have realized a lot of things about friendships. The main one is to have friends, you have to BE a friend. Not just a surface level friend, but you have to be the type of friend you’d want in return. You have to put out there what you want.
How To Be The Type Of Friend You’d Want
- Don’t make it about you: It can be so easy when someone tells us something that’s going on in their life either good or bad to make it about us. Not even on purpose. Maybe them telling you a story sparked a memory of that bad thing that happened to you. While I think telling your experience is not wrong, just don’t make it all about you. Keep it about them. If they are having a bad time, remember it’s about them. When it’s about you, they will be there for you!
- Be there even when you don’t want to be: I know we all feel pulled in a million different directions every single day. Whether you are single or married with kids, life is busy. Sometimes a friend needs us and we feel like we can’t be there or frankly, we don’t want to be because we are tired or just need to chill. But you know what, sometimes we have to be there even when we don’t want to be. That might mean sitting by their side or getting on the phone at 10PM when you’re exhausted.
- Go out of your way: Make the dinner, call to check in, drop by the hospital to see them, just go out of your way for the ones that matter. Remember, they will go out of their way when you need it to.
- Check in with them: Are they going through a rough time? Have you just not talked to them in a while? Check in with them. A simple “hey just thinking about you, hope you’re having a great week!” goes a LONG way.
- Put in the time/effort: Friendship is a two way street. You can’t expect someone to put in the time and effort if you don’t. It’s also not always an even street. Sometimes you are putting in more, sometimes they are. Just like with any other relationship.
A few things to remember about friendships:
- To have a friend you have to be a friend
- Quality over quantity ALWAYS
- Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever
What are your thoughts on this? Anything you’d add?