One day a few weeks ago Amber tweeted needing guest post topic ideas. I said “Write about how you balance job, boyfriend, friends, blog and time for yourself.” Then she told me we should both write about it. After thinking about it for a while I realized something….
Confession…I don’t balance these things.
I work about 45 hours a week doing 5 part time jobs.
I see Chad almost every night.
I try to see my friends as much as I can and I usually see at least 2 of them a week.
I schedule most of my blog posts in advance and try to read blogs daily.
Me time? Yeah I don’t have that.
I consider exercising my Me time. I do that at least 5-6 days a week.
Time to just watch DVR’d stuff, read, run errands….I never feel like I have enough. Im always rushing around to get stuff done in between work and seeing Chad or plans with friends. Reading blogs tends to take place on my phone a lot. Which in turn means I don’t always comment.
My problem is I don’t know how to take time for myself. I just don’t know how to do that. I remember over last summer resenting Chad so much. He seemed to always have time for himself, to get things done, sleep, run errands and I didn’t. I would wake up at 5 to go to the gym, to be at work by 7:30 and then work til 6:30 come home make dinner and my lunch for the next day and go to sleep by 10. It sucked!
Weekends? Between the gym, dates with C, seeing friends and running errands there was no time to just sit and be.
During student teaching last semester it wasn’t a whole lot different. I always resented people who seemed to have time to do it all. What was I doing wrong? How come I couldn’t find balance?
Now working all the time and looking for a teaching job and working on my blog I still don’t have that balance?
So again I ask myself what am I doing wrong? Why can’t I be like everyone else? Everyone else seems to have so much time for themselves. Or do they?
Is it my imagination? Does everyone else have this problem too?
Why is it so hard for women to make time for themselves? After talking to many of my girlfriends about this I realized its definitely a woman thing.
Women are selfless. We try to make everyone happy before ourselves. We would rather spend our free time with family, friends, a boyfriend a husband than just doing something for ourselves.
Men? They are totally fine saying “Hey I want time for myself, I want to play video games, surf the net, hang with the guys.” Women not so much.
I know I am not alone in feeling this way.
How do you make sure you get time for yourself?
Do you feel like your significant other gets more “me” time than you do?
omg…i feel like you too…i def dont have a balance…my fiance always takes naps on the weekend…ive got oo much to do to take a nap lol! but during the week…its rush rush rush!
This reads like the story of my life 🙂 except throw in a newborn. Balance is something that I strive to find on a daily (sometime hourly basis). No magic bullet yet, but I’ll let you know when I find it 😉
Chelsea (www.hautechildinthecity.com)
I have the same problem, what with work, DIY, housework, blogging there is never enough time. I do get annoyed too that I come home from work to find the mess from the day before and my bf (who has been home all day) is sat on his arse playing the X-Box/reading a book etc. Wish I had the time for that! We see the mess and the huge ‘to-do’ pile. They just see what they want to see!!
I feel the same way! I honestly don’t think anyone really has it all together, it just “appears” that way haha!
You are right though, guys are way more willing to just take their me time but us women are more likely to make sure everyone else is taken care of before we take time for ourselves. I wish I wouldn’t be that way but I can’t help it!
I feel the same way!! I feel like my life is constantly out of control because I can’t balance everything. I feel like the days just aren’t long enough to accomplish everything.
I could have written this post! I am awful at balancing time. I never allot enough time for anything and only find “me time” once every few weeks. Especially since having a baby spare time is a very rare thing. If you figure it out please share 🙂
Great post! I feel like this a lot.Even if I am tired I try to do something for myself everyday. RUN have a glass of wine or two 🙂 and catch up on trash TV… I knew last night I needed to start dinner spend time with my family and get laundry done but we each took turns getting a run in and I was better for it…
I think as women we’re worried about disappointing someone that we try to do too much. It could be with work, kids, blogging.. all of it.
It never ceases to amaze me when Joe walks in the door after working 8-10 hours, changes clothes & says he’s going to work out. Then? He actually goes for a run. He doesn’t worry about the laundry being finished or if dinner is prepared. He doesn’t make sure the kids are settled before just taking off.
It’s all about priorities. In high school, I stressed myself over grades and being perfect. Then one day, I got a bad grade regardless of my effort. Know what? The world kept spinning. By the time I got to college, I still wanted to do well, but I wasn’t stressing myself out if I got a B.
This is such a hard thing. I feel like my exercising is the “me” time. And I usually have Friday’s off so I can get some stuff done while Fred is at work. There’s no right or wrong way. You just have to find what’s best for you.
I make time for me…this usually means working out daily and getting my nails done every coupLe of weeks! I’m always rushing around. There just needs to more hours in the day. Happy Tuesday!
I think you are right one many levels, especially about it being a “woman thing.” I also consider my “me time” the time I spend at the gym. It is the place where I can just let the thoughts and stress of the day melt away. Most of the time I am going 150mph from the second I wake up, to the second my head hits the pillow at night. I also feel like it could be a twenty something thing. There just isn’t that steady routine, we are just everywhere all at once. Just know, you aren’t alone.
I know exactly how you feel. I work between 60-80 hours a week plus workout, maintaining a house I own, traveling for work and family, etc. I’ve started putting ‘block times’ in my schedule so I get a little me time. This weekend for example I block timed 3 hours on Sunday to layout at the pool. Then when someone asks if I’m free or if I can work extra, I say no, I’m unavailable. : ]
well at least you are ready for parenthood! haha
Oh you are so not alone. I work 40 hours a week from home, Friday/Saturday nights waitress at a local cafe and take care of the house and 2 kids and a hubby. There is no “me” time unless I get up at 4 am! I have got to find balance, this is a great topic! I would love to see how everyone balances their hectic lives. Thanks for sharing!
When I was in 7th grade, I was exactly the same way that I am now – always filling my plate very, very high. My guidance counselor said to me “you like to be busy and you’re going places, but try to take at least 20 minutes a day just for you.” And in the grand scheme of things, 20 minutes isn’t all that much. So every day, I do something just for me – whether it’s working out, cuddling on the couch, blogging, or writing – in that moment that activity is just for me. Does that make sense?
This is because you are not lazy. If you were lazy like me, you’d find you had TOO much me time.
Seriously. The grass is always greener. I envy your go-go-go attitude and wish I didn’t give myself so much me time!
I bet once you find a teaching job and aren’t working so many separate jobs you will find yourself more balanced. Teaching is time-consuming, but at least it’s the only thing that will be occupying your thoughts (work-wise), giving you more time to focus on other things – like me-time!
Lady, you have hit the nail on the head. My dear husband always has more time than me…. but he’s a good one to tell me when I need to take some time to be at home. I struggle with balance, and never seem to get it all done, but I’m working on it. This is life – never perfect but always in progress!
Umm, this is exactly how I am feeling right now!!! I struggled with these a few weeks ago. There was just not enough time to do everything. Period. I had a near nervous breakdown when I realized everything I had to do before Spring Break. But after having a week off to just do nothing but relax with my boyfriend and spend time at my mom’s house, I feel so much better! I completely agree, as women, we just tend to always be busy and commit to whatever we feel we need to/want to and we get way in over our heads! I feel ya girl!!!! Hate to break it to ya, but it doesn’t get any better when you have a full-time teaching job! Except, you actually get paid for doing all the lesson plans instead of paying the university 🙂
I think you nailed it; we are selfless. We want to take care of everyone else but ourselves first! I definitely catch myself feeling guilty when I do make time for “just me”…not time with friends, or cooking, or working out, but just time to sit and do whatever I want. No one can do it all, so I remind myself of that whenever I feel like I don’t have it balanced. Something always has to give; it’s just up to us to decide what! Great post girl.
I’m with you 100%!!! I’m constantly trying to find balance for doing everything…and then I stress when I don’t get everything done! But you hit the nail on the head when you said we, as women, are selfless…I’d much rather make someone else happy than myself 99.9% of the time, which isn’t always a good thing! Great post!
J by far has more “me” time, for sure!
Almost two years ago, I went through this same thing and finally decided that enough was enough. When I plan my week, I start with time for myself.
It was really hard to put myself first for once, but now that I do – it’s strange, because I feel like I have more to give. 🙂
I used to feel the same way. I think the key is to re-evaluate what you consider me time. I used to think I never had any me time. But then I realized my me time is going to the gym, blogging, talking on the phone to a friend far away, watching tv or a movie even if I am not alone, pedicure time…their are many things that are me time. You have to move away from thinking it is only when you are sitting still, alone doing nothing. Once you realize that you do actually have me time you will be a lot less stressed about. It will just make you feel more relaxed and fulfilled…even though you have not done anything different.
I can completely relate to how you’re feeling! There are simply not enough hours in the day to do everything that I want and need to do. I work so hard to make everyone happy, but I rarely do things that just make me happy. I am striving to create balance, but I know that it’s only going to get harder as I have kids, get promoted, etc. You’re not alone!
There really does need to be more hours in the day! Sadly we spend so much time on the have to do and not enough on the want to do.
I am so glad you wrote about this! I feel like I could’ve written this same post. I keep forgetting to write about it.. next week, promise! 🙂
I think you either have to stay up late or get up early! Thats about the only way. I am up until midnight or later each night. Its the only me time I have. Its when I blog, read blogs or read. Its def a woman thing.