I think sometimes no matter how old you are being a girl is tough.
Having good girlfriends is even tougher.
I had one best friend from Kindergarten through middle school. We were still friends in high school but ran in different crowds. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and we are still good friends to this day.
Then I had one best friend from 9th grade-age 25. We had a big falling out right after my 25th birthday. We have not spoken a word to each other since, even running into each other at a mutual friends wedding. I said “hi” she said nothing.
Since then I have had some good girlfriends but also two best friends that have really shown me what a best friend is. I am so thankful for their love, support, nonjudgmental attitude, protective sister nature, and our fun times together. I get to see one of them at least once a week which is great! The other I do not see nearly enough!
I also have a few really really great girlfriends in my life. Not all of them live in the same city as I do but I know they are there for me whenever I need them. I have great girls here in Dallas I get to spend time with as much as we can.
Now I must talk about bad friends. The ones you spend a lot of time being a good friend to who turn around and repay you by being terrible friends. The ones that disappoint you and turn out to not be who you thought they were. WE have all been there right? When a “good” friend lets you down and you realize….they probably weren’t a friend to you ever. There is a certain kind of pain that comes with this that is hard to explain. The kind of pain mixed with betrayal and a loss of trust that cuts to your core like a knife.
Whats harder is when these people are inescapable….
I know we all have those days where you feel like you dont have friends. It sounds silly because obviously I do but sometimes I feel like I don’t.
After talking to some IRL friends and some blogger friends about this I find it to be very common with girls. Girls constantly go through that feeling of feeling friendless, alone, etc.
I remember times in middle school feeling left out, or elementary school when girls would be mean to me or my Junior and Senior year in high school when because I didnt drink or party or sleep around I was deemed “unpopular.” Yes I was an unpopular cheerleader.
I digress…
I think these feelings are completely normal. I think these are things everyone goes through over and over and over again.
When this happens I try to focus on the good stuff, the good friends and not let those feelings over take me.
This post is not directed at any one person, or one situation so I hope no one takes it as that. This is something we all deal with, no matter if you are five, twenty-five or one hundred and five.
Great post Neely! I agree. I would rather have one great friend who was always there for me than 20 fair weather friends. I have had the same best friend since I was 8 years old (30+ something years) We could go a year without seeing each other and pick right up where we left off. Friends get weeded out over time and you end up with only true friends later in life.
I am not a fan of those fair weathered friends who are only here for their benefit. I have a good group of friends and I’m fine with that. I totally get this post!
you bet girl!! so agree with this 🙂 thanks for sharing and knowing that all friendships are okay if you become strangers..it just means you find better ones!
I agree. I look for friends that know my heart and can be loyal. Girls are crazy. 🙂
I so agree! Being friends with girls is hard. Finding real, honest and true girlfriends is rare, I think. I find it much easier to have guy friends, for sure.
Completely agree! Great post!
I agree with this totally … I have had a lot of “friends” walk in and out of my life … there is less then a handful of people I consider TRUE IRL FRIENDS … some of my closest/best friends are blog/online friends I’ve never met … love ya girlie! Great post! xoxo
Could this post be any more true!? I totally agree. It’s like the saying goes “reason, season, lifetime.” Friends fall into each one of those categories no matter what the reason! I’m glad we’ve become friends, even if we’re far away 🙂
Friendships are tough…especially with girls. I think that’s why most of my closest friends are guys…they’re way easier! ha ha.
This is so common, I feel. It’s sad that girls tend to lose track of each other. At least soon you’ll be surrounded by awesome bloggers at Blissdom!
I would agree with a lot of this and have had to deal with it also, you just has I find those friends that are good to you and hold on tighter than a rodeo cowboy on a big bucking bull ;))
I enjoyed this post, Neely! Glad to know you experience the same things I do. But having a bad friend just makes you even more appreciative of the good ones!
xoxo, Emily
Such a good post. I have a few friends who have been there for me long-term and seem to love me even when I’m at my worst. I’m learning just how valuable these people are. And they make up for the few friends I’ve had to cut out of my life after they used my trust against me and hurt me.
Couldn’t agree more…. I recently had a similar ‘crisis of friend confidence’. We all go through it & I think in a funny way we all come out of each of those little moments even stronger! (and yeah, I know how you felt about high school… I got that experience at TWO different schools lol)
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
“Unpopular cheerleader”… how familiar that sounds! I am lucky to have had my best friend since the 8th grade and she has been nothing but amazing the whole time. Others… well, I can’t say the same for them. Now I just need to find some friends in Houston, lol!
OOh what a great post! I definitely have those moments and have had my share of good & bad friends.
This totally struck a cord with me. I had a friend for almost 2 years that I just couldn’t believe I was so lucky to have. We got along perfectly and I was so grateful to have her in my life. Then she got a boyfriend who apparently didn’t like (understand) the kind of person I am. Without another word she disappeared from my life. No contact for months. I came to realize she was never that good of a friend if she could do that but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I love this post. I definitely have these days. Ive always had lots of guy friends because it comes without the drama, but I do have a handful of great girlfriends that mean the world to me. I think the dramatic girl thing is why I was never in a sorority…I just hate drama. Thanks for sharing. Happy Tuesday!! Xoxo
Wonderfully put, Neely! I love how we talked about this and we had a similar situation. It’s definitely just a girl thing. I think what’s hardest is explaining it to a boy haha. Hunter has had the SAME group of friends since fourth grade. Girls just aren’t like that. One little thing happens and the bottom falls out and it’s ridiculous. I am so thankful for my friendship I have made with you even though you are far away! That’s one of the things I love most about blogging 🙂
UGH! I think every girl has been in that exact situation!!! I just try to be grateful for the amazing friends that do treat me right! 🙂
You are so great with words Neely! I tend to be better friends with guys because of this. You can be straight forward, have a huge argument, and then head out for drinks and all is well. I’m in a debacle right now with a girl in my wedding party, breaks my heart and I have no clue what to do.
You are a good friend and I am glad I met you!! Let’s do Nordstrom’s when you get back from Nashville! 🙂
I love this post! I’ve had a different best friend for each stage of life I’ve been in. Elementary, high school, college, and now as an adult. I’m still friends with the best friends I had when I was younger, but we’ve drifted apart. There are times where I feel like I don’t have many friends. I feel like that more now since I live in a different state than the one I grew up in. I’m glad to know that it’s a fairly common thing among girls! 🙂
Cutting off my “toxic” friend and focusing on the real ones has made me so much happier!
Thank you for this post. I recently stopped having contact with my ex-best friend. After getting over the anger and feelings of betrayal, I finally feel confident that I made the right choice. But, that added on top of moving many miles from the city I was born in and lived in all my life, I totally understand the feeling of having no friends and being lonely at times. I do know that I will get through it, and I even feel better about myself for being strong enough to get a negative person out of my mind.
I hope what every girl can take away from your post is that we DO NOT need to feel bad about losing friends that were no good to begin with. If you are a good person, true and good friends will find you.
great post! yes, I think there are a lot of times we all feel like this… in different areas of life… I am feeling like this in one area and it is very hard…. I hope it is just a season and it will change…
I love this post and I needed this! I constantly battle my thoughts about this. I have attempted to write so many blog posts about friends and friendships, but I never publish them. I have a handful of awesome true friends. I have some who I feel pretend to be. Those of which make me angry and I tend to get bent out of shape about. Thanks for sharing this! Maybe one day I will get the courage to post about this as well.
I completely understand the emotion in this post. I had a bad “friend break-up” a few years ago and I think it jaded me a little.
Great friends are worth their weight in gold, and the only way to have great friends is to be a great friend.
Such a wonderful post Neely!
I have felt like that often! I’ve only had one real falling out with a friend, but my other closest friends and I have grown in and out of each other and it’s sad when the friendship doesn’t fit just right anymore. I frequently wish I had one life long best friend I could still count as such and a whole mess of girlfriends I could call anytime.
Neely, seriously…this post couldn’t have been better. There are so many times I have felt this way. I always have felt that I give and give, but only get disappointed in the end with many friends I grew up with. As I get older I realize that I don’t have to keep them in my life, even though it is crazy hard. I never knew that cutting someone so negative out of your life could be so hard, especially when you thought you were good friends in the first place. I’m so glad you are blessed with such great friends, and I’m also very glad to have met yoooooooooou. Thanks for posting this pretty lady 🙂
I’m so glad i am not the only one! Thank you. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I hope you have fun at Blissdom!!
Agree– we all have had times where we feel alone even though there are people all around. Thank God for true friends who stick with us no matter what!! 🙂
Great post. I know exactly what you mean.
Gosh, I get this. I have had some BAD friends. But now that I am “older”, I know what to look for and what to watch out for. The biggest trait I avoid at all cost is competition and jealousy. If I am around someone trying to compete with me, goodbye. I want a friend, not a competitor!
Hope you are having fun at Blissdom!
I’m very late to comment on this, but you hit the nail on the head. Very well written. Totally have been through all the things you’ve mentioned!
Love this post!!!! I have a few great friends now, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
When I went through my breakup, I surrounded myself with a lot of people 24/7. Funny, I figured out these people were interested in Party Amber, but not the me when I was figuring myself out and getting things under control. Made me really happy for the friends who have stuck around, the one I have known for 20yrs, and the one I have had for 17yrs. So much better catching up with them than pretending with a group that doesn’t care about the real me!
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