I feel like time and time again in life we are faced with decisions. Most of which can go one of two ways. We take the path we choose and hope that it turns out to be the right path. We hope our “dots” connect.
Over vacation I received an email I was not expecting. I had two choices: respond or dont respond. This particular email was not as much of a surprise to me as it was to some. Chad emailed me and I chose to not respond. I was on vacation with A, I am happy with A and A is my future. Chad is my past. I have worked hard to keep my past in the past and I wish he would respect that but nevertheless he emailed. I wont go in to details on what was in the email but I chose to not respond. At first I was angry, it was my birthday, I was having a great day on vacation with A and of course Chad tries to ruin it. Then I just put my phone away and enjoyed the rest of my day, my trip etc.
The reason I am talking about this is because 6 months ago I would have responded which would have started a chain of emails, leading to texts and phone calls. I didnt respond not because I am with A although of course I respect our relationship enough to not respond to an ex but because I am different. I have grown up a lot in the past 6 months not just in age but in the way I look at things.
To me this email showed his lack of growing.
The past several years I have been faced with a lot of choices and more times than not I took the wrong one.
Truth be told when I met A I was nervous about dating again. I almost brushed him off after a few dates but a good friends husband has what my mom refers to as a “come to Jesus” talk with me and thankfully I listened.
Fear is something huh? I was terrified of the same thing happening so much so that I almost missed out on an amazing guy. I am so glad I didn’t because I love my life with A and I cant wait to see where our “dots” lead us.
Needless to say for me I took the more difficult path in both of those situations. Not responding to Chads email meant not saying a lot of the things I would love to say to him, things that honestly wont make me feel better about those 3.5 years. When I moved forward with A knowing I was scared I had to let go. I had to let go of fear and jump and hope I made the right choice. I can say that months later I know I made the right choice.
This doesn’t mean I always choose the hard path or make the right choice cause lord knows I dont. But regardless I will be faced with decisions daily and some will change my life for the better…hopefully more so than not.
If you want to know what I mean by “dots” watch this video the entire thing. Its 15 minutes that will change your life. I have watched it about 20 times since A showed it to me.
What do you do to make decisions when you feel at a crossroads?
Isn’t it funny when you have those moments in life where you can truly recognize “wow, I totally grew up right there”? It’s nice to have those affirmations in life that you’re moving and growing and making good healthy decisions for yourself. It can only lead you to more good things 🙂
It’s so “fitting” that some people (typically the ones that are/were toxic to your life) end up trying to make a comeback right at the moment that you are the happiest. So glad you are chosing to ignore that and take the high road. It’s so hard not to just give those people a peice of your mind, but you totally did the right thing. Such a grown up! 🙂 Happy Friday!
Oh good decision – VERY good decision! Like you said Chad is your past. So glad you can focus on the positive and the future and not waste time with the past. I think we learn from our “mistakes” and make choices in the future based on past experiences.
I’m glad you didn’t respond and chose to be the bigger person. Although it takes a while to see more clearly, the view is SO much better once we do 😉 xoxo
I swear from what you have shared about the way your relationship with A is progressing mirrors the way mine and my husband’s relationship did. I mean everything from the pace, to planning a vacation together 3 weeks in, to ex’s popping back in unwelcome ways. I love reading about it because if you continue this way, I see you being very, very happy 🙂
I love when we have moments of clarity. Your description reminds me of a relationship I had before meeting my husband (married 10 years this year–and wow, I can’t be that). How wonderful you must feel today knowing that you didn’t engage. You must be very happy! 🙂
I so needed to read this at this point in my life. SO. And you know I love these posts from you more than anything. x
I completely understand this. I had an ex boyfriend who had tried, up to a year later after breaking up, to weasel his way back into my life. Even though I didn’t have a relationship at the time when I broke off all contact, I did it for myself and respect for myself. Good for you 🙂
Isn’t that always the way? You find happiness with someone and ghosts from your past jump out as soon as they hear you’re happy and moved on. Ugh, so typical. Been there girl; kudos to you for being strong enough to refrain from responding to him! Proud of you!
I’m still pissed he wrote you. He knew what he was doing. BUT, you’re the bigger person. And A has made life so much happier for you. I’m so happy you’re happy! <3
The biggest thing I do when I’m at a crossroads is talk to trusted family members like my stepmom & my grandma, and pray about it!