Yesterday I was browsing Facebook and came across a video from upworthy. Apparently one video made me think.
Its really worth a watch so here’s the link.
Its all about the gender stereotypes in men and women. How a man can be a boss but a woman is seen as bossy. A man can look in a mirror and primp and is seen as neat and tidy but a woman is seen as vain.
As a woman who owns my own business I run into things like this a lot. A lot of times my business meetings are with men a lot older than me who have been in the business world a lot longer than me. Im sure a lot of time some of them feel “oh look at this young girl in her 20’s we can take advantage of her.” No. I have also had to do things like enforce contracts which instead of me coming off as someone holding my ground and protecting my business it comes off as me being “bitchy.”
I hate the double standards women are held to. We can run Countrys, businesses, hold higher positions as men in the workforce and we are still held to this double standard of “bitchy” “vain” “bossy” “selfish”(if we choose to work rather than stay at home) ” pushy” “a show off” etc. Its not right and I wont stand for it any longer.
This video really stuck with me all day yesterday and all night and I was compelled to write about it.
I want to know from you women out there how many times you have felt like you are held to a double standard in some way shape or form?
Lets change this.
Every.Single.Day. Our firm has two female associates, and no named female partners. We have two female contract partners, which is totally different that equity partners. I see it in the courtroom, depos, mediations, even in my own office. Men find me pretty and cute and then find out im a lawyer and shy away. Men in the legal world ogle me, look at my legs. I am expected to wear a skirt suit in court so as not to look too masculine or powerful. If I cry, I am weak, If I get upset I’m emotional or a bitch. Someday I hope this changes.
Go immediately and read “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg if you haven’t. She talks about this issue but how women can use it to their advantage.
I posted this on my Facebook yesterday! Great minds think a like:) Never let anyone dull your sparkle, girl, you are doing wonderful things:)
Ahh the joys of making your mark in a society with patriarchal standards that still holds a woman’s place is in the home raising kids and cooking meals. But you know first of all if they want to live by those standards they have to hold on to all of them.. and it all falls under Old Testament teaching, which even then had women leaders. You know the ones they choose to act like are non existent or minor. Grrr.. go get em girl..
My life motto has been Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Boss. As a SAHM, I sometimes think men don’t give me the respect I deserve considering my profession. It’s BS and I’m pretty upfront with my feelings about how important my job is. Far more important than theirs, really.
It’s still a man’s world but thanks to more ladies becoming bosses, not bossy, it’s slowly changing.
Love the motto!
I hate to say it, but I see it at home sometimes too. When I am assertive, I get the “you are being a bitch” response at times (from a very assertive-minded man mind you). My response is somewhere along the lines of, “if you think this is bitch mode then watch out because you haven’t seen the bitch I can become.” I am having to teach him (and he is getting better at this thank goodness), because clearly he thinks like other men in society… and what the hell?! We can all be assertive- it is better for everyone!
I agree with you on all of the double standards. As a WAHM, sometimes I feel super under appreciated. I run two businesses PLUS keep my house mostly together. I feel like I have way more things to juggle then most men that I know in the work force. Yet anytime people ask me what I do, they always just hear that I stay home. When I am in meetings with clients I feel like I have to put off a different persona to be taken credibly.
I absolutely LOVE this!!! What a great post! (Not that any post of yours isn’t awesome because they are!) but this one stands out! I saw this video and actually thought to myself “I wonder what word people would use to describe me” because this video is very thought provoking!
I totally loved this video. It’s so accurate about the double standards that women face every single day and it’s just wrong!
Jamie @
The Growing Up Diaries
I love talking about gender in sociology. I make my kids do a lot of media analysis to see how our perceptions have changed.
And I agree with the previous comment – have you read “Lean In”? It is AMAZING.
I feel like as women EVERYTHING we do is scrutinized. Take having kids for an example. I don’t want them. Never have. HIGHLY doubt I ever will. When I tell people that they look at me like I have a 3rd head. If a man said that… they wouldn’t think twice about it. Ridiculous.
It’s amazing how far women have come – and sad at how far we still have left to go. With two daughters to raise, I find that making changes to stereotypes is more important than ever.
I encountered that all the time when I was in the corporate world – some industries worse than others. The double standard is alive and well and it really needs to be stopped. I even encountered it when I was getting a fence for my yard. The contractor hit our water line and I made him fix it – it was his mistake. He tried to walk all over me and I pushed back and got my way in which he called me a not so nice word. However, if I had been a man, he probably wouldn’t have fought so hard to do the right thing. Not only did I feel I had to deal with men treating me differently in the corporate world, but in one particular industry I have never had so much high school drama with female co-workers – back stabbing and “feeling threatened” because I was a go getter. We need to do better at supporting each other and not back stabbing each other as women too.
That video is brilliant!