It is in our human nature to judge right?
I mean we do it from such an early age:
“My clothes are prettier”
“My parents have more money”
“Why is she wearing that?”
“Why does he talk funny”
“You’re ugly”
“IM pretty”
“I hate myself”
and so on….
We learn this from everyone around us…parents, friends, tv, etc
I believe that certain judgments are ok…I for one judge people for this
or this…
I am have been known to judge people who wear black and brown together
I also judge people who are blatantly rude to me on twitter …you know who you are
I found this on post secret and I thought it was fabulous because this is a true case of what judging can do to people
The reason for this post:
I have been judged lately and finally realized something…we criticize and judge peoples decisions for NO REASON
Do people think I cant make my own decisions or that I am incapable of seeing the good and bad parts of my decisions?
If I spend time with Chad does that really require a verbal ass kicking??
Here is my PSA: I am an almost 27 year old woman and I dont need to be told what I should and shouldnt do. If you are a friend of mine and I tell you something unless I am physically harming myself or someone else I expect support.
I want to take this time to thank those that do support and love me through my decisions regardless of how they feel about them. 
Im not going to say this post is directed at one person or a group of people or what but this is a reminder to all of us. Because I have judged friends for their decisions and we should all remember that judging doesnt help people…it alienates them. When you sit in judgment of people do you really think they take you seriously? Dont you think they would appreciate you more if instead of judging you listened, offered support and loved them?
I have watched one of my best friends get judged recently for decisions shes making in regards to her baby…I mean really? Shes about to be a mom in 5 weeks…do you think shes going to harm her child?
People all I am saying is that judging others wont make you happier, it wont make you prettier, it wont make you better…but it will help you lose friends.
If I lose followers from this post then so be it but we all need to remember this…especially ME!
P.S. Go here to ask me a question any question by midnight Thurs 🙂
I agree judging is something we all do and it is bad. Although I do feel if you tell someone something and they give you their HONEST opinion, not what you want to hear, it is immature to just expect them to always be on your side. I just posted something like this on FB.
I so agree girl! stay strong! xo you’re fabulous just the way you are- regardless of what people are saying. its YOUR life. its YOUR choice. Go for it.
Amen, sista! I hate how friends turn on each other. Two of my friends are apparently no longer friends because of “life choices” that one of them made and it breaks my heart.
Be proud of your decisions and hold your head high! If you’re not ashamed of them, others can’t shame you for them, you know?
Judging people never helps. This you are correct about. We all do what we want anyways. The one thing I caution you about is stopping judging people even for their grammar usage. Or anything, actually. You never know what peoplehave overcome- and if they’re busy overcoming life endangering, maybe grammar wasn’t on their high list, etc.
Life is hard. There is rarely a “right” decision. All we can hope for is a few people who love us and that our bad decisions are a quickly passing fad.
I think this is a wonderful post.! I’m not a judger, I accept people for who they are, but I so agree that you need to support your friends in what they do, if they fail or make a bad decision, be there to help them cope. It’s says this on a friend application, duh. Kidding. I dont think you should lose followers over this post, it is very true and nothing is wrong with it!
I’ve been the recipient of such judgment. What I realized? People don’t know the whole story and they don’t know your feelings, thoughts, or situation.
I love and support you, whatever your decision may be. I will be there to listen to if you need something or be happy for you when things are going well!!
Xoxo 🙂
I like your occasional seriousness 🙂
I feel the same way you do about my friends though. As long as I’m not harming myself in any way, I expect their support – not their judgement.
You’re a grown, smart woman, and you’re capable of making your own decisions.
I support you without judgement! 🙂 love ya!
yup, the one thing that sucks about life, but you gotta learn to move on & just ignore it! it is human nature:)
We all judge, I’m not proud of it but I do too. I judge the teeny boppers in their pajama pants at the mall. I judge the girl who types every word upper case on her Facebook. Every Single Word Is Like This.
But it also stinks that sometimes we have to walk on eggshells to NOT be judged – like you said, there are some people on Twitter. But I’m gonna live my life how I want dang it!! Haha.
Mrs. Smith said it all to clearly, some people do judge before they know the whole story. We should all try to judge less and say screw ’em to those who judge us.
I love you Neely!!! Stay strong and don’t listen to the haters. You’re an awesome person and I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished and if you’re happy, I’m happy boo. 🙂
Dang, girl. What did I miss? Sounds like we need to email/gchat soon! Don’t let anyone bring you down, love! <3
I believe Harpo opened my eyes to this the other day with her show on the kid that wanted to kill his mom. Obvs if that kid was going psycho in public we would all judge his mother. My future sister in law’s nephew has leukemia (don’t know if I spelled that right, too lazy to check) and the meds they put him on can make him misbehave and he’s had a tough life and disciplining him is tough. I’m sure people judge and would feel like crap if they knew he was misbehaving because he has CANCER! I knew you wouldn’t be able to not talk about this and I hope writing about it helps. I have to say though I have really really wanted to unfollow a blog where she repeatedly types a lot as one word, but I haven’t for many reasons.
I was going to say “Just wait to you become a mother!”
Sorry you feel judge 🙁 For what its worth, I think you are fabulous!
It’s so true and unfortunately it seems to be just a part of human nature. It is just engrained in us at an early age, which is so wrong!
Just remember that you know what is best for you and no one can tell you different!
We all do it, but it doesn’t make it right. I think this is a great post, and I hope people really listen to what you’ve said. People don’t always know the whole story, and people need to trust that you know what you’re doing! Love you dear!
Couldn’t agree with you more love! I felt the same way when I left my ex husband & when I was with Ryan. If you’re a friend then you should support your friends no matter what! (unless there is a chance of physical harm!)
I think this is a great post! Judging is something everyone does.. and it’s terrible that it can tear a friendship apart! If they’re true friends they will stand beside the decisions you make and support you no matter what. But it’s your life and your decisions, so stay strong!
Neely! I loved this post! I love how “real” you are! I adore you! I think we all judge at times but it’s the way in which you go about the judging… Don’t let anyone get you down; you have so much going for you and so ahead of the game! I mean, come on, you are that awesome that I am coming to visit you!
Love this post and your PSA. I know the feeling all too well. A few weeks back my boyfriend and I broke up, we’re back together now but my roommate was so negative. I don’t need that!
I LOVE this post! We all need a reminder to not judge people. We also need a reminder to rethink the “friends” that constantly judge us!
Love this post<3 I totally agree with you.I think you are awesome!!!
Amen Sista! It’s your life – you make your decisions and you’ll reap the benefits or consequences of those decisions.
After becoming a mom (in a not so great situation, at the time), I learned that as soon as I quit listening to everyone else’s opinions, judgement and advice and started listening to my own heart things worked out beautifully and I couldn’t be happier!
XOXOX!
Amen, lady. Great post, I couldn’t have said it better.
I know that too many times I’ve judged someone and I hate it every time I do it. I know that I hate it when people judge me!
I agree 100 %. I am often judged as well for no real reason, and often sent really mean emails or comments about my cancer filled life, its discouraging and I hate the feeling that someone is preying upon me for laughs. Keep your head held high sweet friend, the people who judge are not nearly as important as those people who do not.
I hear ya! We are so quick to judge and yet…we shouldn’t…at all…ever.
Just found your blog! Love the name of it. When I used to have to work on Saturday mornings at a bank for oh, three hours, I would always say that it was “a complete waste of makeup”. What I really wanted to be doing was sleeping in!
Amen, sister! Even though we’re all guilty of it, this is a great reminder! I totally love your spirit and know that I am always here for you, no matter what!
What makes a good friend? Do you expect it to be someone who watches, listens to, and experiences your pain and then idly sits by as you take steps back toward that pain? Or expresses concern for you and your happiness, never once saying don’t do it or you are wrong, but saying protect yourself?
Judging is different than expressing concern. Judging can be meant to hurt, concern is meant to explore topics that are difficult.
When a friend expresses concern, it can be very telling about the recipient of the concerns. Do they perceive the concern as an attack? Or do they recognize the care behind the concern? What do these reactions say about the person and their choices? Does it reveal underlying denial, an oversensitive nature, or just a misunderstanding of the other person’s intentions?
If many people have the same concern, does that make it more valid? Or are they just all out to get you and truly meaning harm?
I wish some of your blog followers or cyber friends could experience the pain and hurt that you felt about your relationship with Chad. They might want to express concern too. Or they could read your old blog posts about the topic.
Above all else, my main wish is that you would see your friends as loving and caring, willing to support you in your endeavors meanwhile knowing that you could have an amazing Mr. Right if you gave yourself the time to heal and found someone that saw you as his perfect partner for marriage. If that ends up being Chad, I wish you all the happiness in the world.
AGREED. 🙂
Sadly judging is just part of life, a sucky part although. Neely only YOU can live your life…and other people need to let you make your own decisions, whether they like them or not. You are a strong, independent woman…don’t let anyone get you down 🙂 . PS – I need your address so I can send you a little something for your birthday. 🙂
I’m a blog follower/ cyber friend that was helping Neely plan the wedding and pick out rings and got the text that day when he changed his mind. So I get the pain she was in. No one likes to see their friend hurt but that doesn’t give you the right to get on your high horse and tell her what to do with her life. You claim that you care about her and that your concern is coming from a place of love which I understand, but a good friend supports their friend no matter what! She is 27 years old and she is going to have a great life with or without you giving her advice. This could go on for 10 years. They could break up and get back together a 100 times. Are you going to stop being her friend? Why are you friends in the first place?
I try my best not to judge people but to learn from them. Everyone has different opinions and that fascinates me. I don’t agree with everyone on everything but I try to not be rude about it. Because we all know if you can’t say something nice then you should not say anything at all.
I SO agree girl and tis part of the reason me and the bff are no longer friends, she wanted to judge me for who I dated, what I did etc. that wasn’t her place, tell me her feelings is one thing, but then to let it go and let me make my choice. Sadly she couldn’t and now I am BFF free. 🙁
i lovvvvve this!!!! I do weekly challenges for my readers to accomplish, and this week is called CHEERING FOR YOUR ENEMIES…goes right along with this!!!!
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you go girl! 😉 love it. you are so right! Forget about people judging you because you can’t please everyone!
So true Neely!! “But before you come to any conclusions, try walking in my shoes….”
Amen sista! I saw your tweets earlier but totally didn’t have time to respond. Sorry lady! I was thinking about you today, though. I wrote a blog post tonight about bullying. It’s infuriating to me that certain people continue to tear down bloggers on a consistent basis. There is NO reason for this! I really wish people would go by the ‘If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.’ I think, if one is asking for the opinions of their readers, one should expect to receive comments that have views differing from their own. However, the unsolicited berating from someone who is not familiar with your position is uncalled for. Be nice, people!
Sorry you’re having to deal with this, sweet girl!
AMEN.
I am so glad to read a post like this. 🙂
Ewww. I’ll never understand why people feel the need to judge someone elses life. Advice and wisdom? Totally different from judgement. Thanks for the reminder, girl! Hope things are going better now. 🙂
Good for you for standing up for yourself!
Loved this and been going through this same thing. Glad I’m not the only one.