12.22.12 45

When It’s Different

I spent 3 plus years in a relationship that had no future. Its true. I knew it from 2 months in. I told C we needed to break up after 2 months because I felt he wasn’t into our relationship and I did not want to waste time. Of course he came crawling back said he wanted to be with me and he would change….I heard that about a dozen times over the next 3 years.

I wont go into too many details about how and why things finally ended and the conclusions I had to come to. I was told at a very young age “when you’re done when you’re really and truly done wild horses couldn’t drag you back.” Its true. Things officially ended several months ago.

A lot of us have had experiences with guys that just dont treat us right. I’ve seen so many of my friends in the past and lately go through things like this and it hurts my heart because I can remember the pain. The pain I dont think ever really goes away. It gets easier as time goes on and you stop blaming yourself and you stop crying and one day you’re just good again.

Then you meet someone that changes everything. I met A a mere 3 weeks ago. Exactly today. That sounds crazy right. It was one of those first dates that is indescribably good. That you leave and you know you’ve met someone special. Date number 2 was 3 days later, number 3 2 days after that….and so on. The phone and text conversations about serious topics and favorite things and laughs and that feeling of renewed faith in relationships and in the future. That moment where you have the “are we official?” talk came. He helped me recover from a surgery in the sweetest ways possible. He says things to me that not only C but no guy I’ve dated have ever said and makes me a kind of safe and secure feeling I’ve never known.

To protect the innocent I wont use his full name until I feel thats appropriate but for now we can call him A. A is amazing and every time I spend with him I feel it goes too fast. He makes me smile and laugh and makes my heart happy in a way I did not think possible a year ago.

When its different you just know. A feeling washes over you like you wouldn’t believe and you just know….its different this time.

Leave a Comment

45 Comments

  1. Brandi wrote:

    What a beautiful post! I’m so happy for and A!

    I was exactly where you are four years ago, and low and behold I met my husband. All of those exciting feelings are still just as strong today as they were in the beginning!

    Published 12.22.12
    Reply
  2. LWLH wrote:

    Yay Neely.
    I agree, you just ‘know’ when it’s different. I was with lot of jerks before I met B but then with him everything fell into place and it wasnt such a struggle anymore to be with someone.

    6 years later…we argue and stuff but I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before.

    I’m so happy for you!

    Published 12.22.12
    Reply
  3. This is my favorite post you’ve ever written 🙂 So, so, so, so very incredibly happy for you! This is exactly how it should be and what you deserve! (nothing but the best!)

    Published 12.22.12
    Reply
  4. Kylie wrote:

    Wow! Firstly, beautifully written and heartfelt post, secondly, I am so happy for you! It ways makes my heart happy to see someone so genuinely happy and excited in their life. On a personal level, this lifted my spirits. I ended a four year relationship a month ago, after being treated badly for a long time. I too knew a long time ago it had to end but when you live someone that much you just want to hang in there for the happy ending. Whilst my heart is in pain now, I look forward to finding my true happy ending and reading your post made me smile and gave me hope. Merry Christmas!

    Published 12.22.12
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  5. YAY! So happy for you girl! <3

    Published 12.22.12
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  6. noel wrote:

    Good for you!! I’ll tell you what, if he nurses you to health that early on in the relationship, he’s a keeper…my now husband was my friend for a few months. We worked together and hung out regularly for about four months before we even shared a first kiss. As soon as we kissed, it was official. Seven days later I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle and we shared our first “I love you” in the hospital…one week after dating. And the way he took care of me when I was released was unreal. Before him? I had been in a toxic back and forth relationship (if you can even call it that) for a few years. Quantity of time has NOTHING on when you find a quality person! Enjoy it, you deserve it!

    Published 12.22.12
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  7. Pamela wrote:

    Very happy for you Neely! He sounds like a winner!

    Published 12.22.12
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  8. Jackie wrote:

    That is awesome that you have found something. I know the feeling about your previous relationship…mine was a lot longer than a few months ago, and I did put up with a lot more than I should have ever. But, enjoy it and have fun with it 🙂

    Published 12.22.12
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  9. Helene wrote:

    love this post Neely! so happy for you! double date?

    Published 12.22.12
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  10. Shellsea wrote:

    Loved this post! A sounds like a great catch and we know you are! Looking forward to reading more about the beginning of beautiful relationship.

    Published 12.22.12
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  11. Brittany wrote:

    I’m so thrilled for you. It’s such an amazing feeling when you are in a good relationship especially after being in one that was not so good. Wishing you all the best!!

    Published 12.22.12
    Reply
  12. Katie wrote:

    Neely– I’m so happy for you that you’ve found someone who sounds wonderful. And that you’re off the previous roller coaster. Good for you for having the strength to get out of a relationship that you knew wasn’t right. Can’t wait to hear more about A!! 🙂

    Published 12.22.12
    Reply
  13. Paige wrote:

    That’s how it was for me and Cody. It’s such a great feeling. I’m glad that it happened to you! 🙂

    Published 12.22.12
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  14. Heather wrote:

    Neely, words cannot express how happy I am for you! You deserve all the happiness in the world friend :).

    Published 12.22.12
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  15. ty wrote:

    This makes me so happy 🙂 love you, bunny!

    Published 12.22.12
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  16. Bailey wrote:

    So nice! I’m always so happy for people when they can get out of those C relationships and their faith can be restored in an A. Sometimes the C’s can leave us so bitter and hopeless..and that’s so unfortunate because I truly believe there are so many awesome things waiting for us.. we just have to search. Very happy for you!

    Published 12.22.12
    Reply
  17. amber wrote:

    I was all prepared to leave an “aww, i’m sorry” kind of comment until I read on!
    I’m so happy for you, girl!! You deserve happy and I’m glad A is providing that for you! 🙂

    Published 12.22.12
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  18. Niki wrote:

    Neely, I am glad you found what seems like a good guy. I look forward to hearing more about your courtship with A. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

    (Formerly known as Niki at A real life military wife

    Published 12.22.12
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  19. Law_Fal wrote:

    I’m so happy for you! This post is very encouraging as I am still struggling to get over a two yr relationship with similar circumstances as your previous one. I wish you guys the best and I’m glad you are happy!!!!!

    Published 12.22.12
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  20. Nilda wrote:

    Awww that’s do exciting Neely! I totally agree that when it’s right it just feels different. I hope things continue to grow in a wonderful way for you and A!

    Published 12.22.12
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  21. Erin wrote:

    So very happy for you! I hope he’s totally different and treats you the way you deserve!

    Published 12.22.12
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  22. Jennifer wrote:

    I love this post. I am so happy for you! I noticed the other day, this new guy in your life. YAY for you! xoxo you deserve it!

    Published 12.22.12
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  23. Ashley wrote:

    I wasn’t really around for your ups and downs with C but I am really really happy for you Neely! Everyone deserves to feel and be loved and I am happy you have decided to let someone treat you the way you are meant to be treated. 🙂 xoxo

    Published 12.22.12
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  24. Alli wrote:

    I have had a guy who cheated on me. And two guys who only cared about themselves. Five months ago I met a wonderful guy who changed my whole perspective on love and relationships. He never fails to text me good morning and good night. He never fails to remind me how special I am to him.

    I’m really happy to see you found someone who also makes you happy. 🙂

    Published 12.22.12
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  25. meghan wrote:

    I’m glad you’re happy Neely. He sounds wonderful and like a world of difference from C. We all deserve to find someone that makes us feel like this, and i’m glad you have too!

    Published 12.22.12
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  26. Micah wrote:

    Congrats!! 🙂 I agree that when it’s different, you just know. Especially you — you seem to have good instincts about people and situations. I hope things continue to go well for you and A. Have a great holiday season 🙂 May it be the first of many together.

    Published 12.22.12
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  27. Congrats!

    Published 12.22.12
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  28. What a great feeling!! I hope that things continue to blossom for you and A!

    Published 12.22.12
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  29. Lindsey wrote:

    Neely I am so happy for you. I totall understand because that is how my husband made me feel. It is truly nice when you find a great guy who treats you right especially after being with one who didn’t!

    Published 12.22.12
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  30. Shelley wrote:

    SO happy for you, girl!! Love you! text or call anytime!

    Published 12.22.12
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  31. Mrs. Jones wrote:

    Precious! So happy for you!

    Published 12.23.12
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  32. Cori H. wrote:

    I’ve been off and on with my boyfriend for 7 years and ended things with him last night. Like you, I knew it wasn’t right from the start, but I just couldn’t let him go. We would break up, but then he said he’d change. It would be good for awhile, but then we would find ourselves back at square one. I know that I deserve better. Thanks for giving me hope! I’m happy for that you’ve found someone who makes you so happy! I hope it only gets better every single day! 🙂

    Published 12.23.12
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  33. Tayler wrote:

    I love this Neely! I’ve had my fair share of crappy guys and this post and your obvious happiness is giving me hope 🙂

    Published 12.25.12
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  34. Vicki wrote:

    Welp … go on a cruise for a week and look what I missed! :-/ Neely I am so SO so happy for you! Mike and I both knew from the first date that we were it for eachother! It’s an amazing thing and I am so so so happy to see you so happy! Love you girl! We need to text and catch up ASAP!!!!

    Published 12.26.12
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  35. Meghan wrote:

    YAY! So happy for you Neely! You deserve a great guy!

    Published 12.26.12
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  36. Chelsea wrote:

    I am SO happy for you Neely. 🙂 <3

    Published 1.6.13
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  37. Wilma wrote:

    Beautiful post. Wishing the best for your relationship. http://www.LivingHappierAfter.com

    Published 12.13.13
    Reply
  38. misssrobin wrote:

    Lovely post. You’re right; sometimes it’s just different. Very different. Immediately. I’m glad you found more peace in a relationship. I wonder if you’re still together.

    Published 12.13.13
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  39. Great description of the pain. I watched my daughters go through that. It was so hard to be there for them but unable to help them. Glad you are with A. Enjoy your SITS Day.

    Published 12.13.13
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  40. Lisa Green wrote:

    I LOVE this post. It made me a little misty reminding me of November 18, 1988. That’s the day I met the love of my life. We dated just 6 weeks before he proposed and we married 9 months after that. You said the time you spend with A goes by too fast – that’s been our entire relationship…My husband says that’s the price you pay for being happy. Enjoy every minute. Thanks for sharing! Happy SITS day, Happy Holidays!

    Published 12.13.13
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  41. I couldn’t agree more! At some point you just think “I cannot imagine life without this person.”

    Published 12.13.13
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