Most people in my life know I blog, they either know and dont read, know and read, know and dont care, or care but dont read….
But here is my big question…if you are dating a guy or in the beginning stages of dating a guy should you tell him about your blog?
I started the blog when Chad and I had been dating for nearly 6 months so basically it didnt matter if he didnt want to be in it…cause he was.
I told B1 about the blog on our first date, I unfortunately let it slip that if you google my name the blog shows up
B2 knows about my blog because 2 mins into meeting him my friend Emily and I were discussing the blog in front of him….
Granted Im not serious with either of these guys obvi
Nor do I know if I will be
Ive gone out with one of them 3 times and one of them 1 time
But should you tell guys about the blog?
I really dont want either of them reading it
I want to feel like I can talk about my dating life on here
Ashley and I were having a conversation Tuesday night about it and I told her I really need to get a filter and not tell guys about the blog.
I also dont want them reading about Chad and that was a major part of my blog for the first year I wrote.
I have nothing to hide but I feel like it would make a guy uncomfortable to read about your relationship with your ex you thought you’d marry am I right?
I feel like there is no right or wrong answer
We blog and we put our shit out there so to speak
My blog is not private so I cant tell people they cant read it
I made the conscious decision to have a blog and put my life out there for the world to see so I have to deal with the consequences of that right?
I hate that blogs cant be private to more than 100 people sometimes
I go back and forth on if Id ever have my blog private but how do you choose who can and cant read it?
Anyways thats my story for today.
What do you guys think about this?
My friends and family know, but I never tell the guys I date. Although, now that I’m more comfortable with it, I’m starting to wonder how’d they’d take it, and so I’m sort of tempted to tell one and see what happens. Sort of.
I just know that as soon as I do, I will be censoring myself going forward, and that makes it impossible to write.
I wouldn’t tell them unless you think they’d be really open to it.
This is such a big question for bloggers. For me, my immediate family knows I blog, no one else. I think that as I blog more I might have to tell people, as they would be included in a few posts. It just hasn’t come up yet, you know?
I think that the privacy issue is a good one, and my impression is that only followers could read your blog, and any other people have to get access from you. Maybe you could try it out and see if you liked it?
That it is a really hard question. I am kinda going through too. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago and I didn’t want to put any of that on my blog because I knew he could see it. I wanted to put up a strong front even though I was hurting and needed somewhere to vent. Once I get back into the dating game, I don’t think I would tell them until we got serious. If they are that curoius to read posts from years past you can’t stop them. Everyone has a past. I hope this helps and if you have any advice for me, I’d love to hear it. Cheers!
It’s definitely a tough decision. Only my immediate family and close friends know about the blog.. but it’s definitely weird when random people from my hometown seem to find it and follow along. I don’t mind people reading it, because obviously it’s public and out there for the world to see.. but I definitely don’t broadcast that I have one.
I would say don’t tell them until your further along in dating for the simple fact that they might read a lot of posts, and get to know you based on your blog. And you’ll miss out on the whole getting know each other aspect! Definitely a tough decision! Good luck!
Not too many people in my real life know I blog and I kind of like it that way. My husband and I made the mistake of telling our moms to get on Facebook to see our pictures and they comment on every. single. thing. I post. I don’t want 574839 comments from the 2 of them on every blog entry I write. My brothers know about my blog tho and they couldn’t care less.
I didn’t tell my husband about it until we were dating for a loooong time. I forget exactly how long, but it was at least 6 months, most likely more. He honestly doesn’t read it or care much either haha
i understand girl! i debated even telling my BOYFRIEND about the blog because clearly i’d be posting about our relationship and would he be okay for the whole WORLD to know about it…it was tricky. I perhaps wouldn’t tell right off about your blog because as you said it is a PERSONAL matter- but if you stared becoming exclusive with any one of the boys, after a while I would maybe bring it up. Everyone has a past and it shouldn’t matter about old boyfriends, there’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future 😉 xo hope that helps girl!
Hmm… Like you said though, if he googles you, your blog is going to show up anyway! I think I’d maybe tell a guy after a few dates about the blog and be honest that you’re dating around a bit. I think it would be better to be upfront than have him awkwardly find out about it himself! I would be all worried about how to handle it too though, so good luck!! 🙂
It kinda gives the guy you’re dating an unfair advantage (if that makes sense) because he could get on & read everything about you, while you’re still askin “so wait… what’s your favorite color? and you went to high school where?” haha
I let it casually slip to people, but I don’t go on and on about it. I don’t post about mine on FB or anything though, it weirds me out to know that a bunch of previous classmates (who actually know me and where I live and all that) could know my ‘every move’ so to speak… you guys can all know whatever though, haha!
This is something I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out lately. Honestly, no one that I in real life knows that I blog. Thats right, not my mom, sister or best friend. I think that if I told other people I was blogging they would read into things differently and I wouldn’t be able to be as candid.
As far as the guys you date, I personally wouldn’t want them to know until it got serious. I know that I write very personally on my blog and I’m not sure if I would want them to know that much about me in early stages of a relationship.
For about 9 months nobody knew about my blog but one day my friend was googling our schools hockey team and my picture popped up – imagine that. Then she told 3 of my other friends which lead to 4 more finding out. So now I think 6 of my college friends know and my best friend from home knows. – I’m not thrilled about this because I wanted blogging to be my escape from my real world and now i feel like I need to sensor what I say.
I don’t think I would ever want my family or a guy I date to know about it because honestly I don’t want them to read it.
Boo google for letting my friends find it. And honestly I’m not too happy my friends went around telling each other about it without even telling me they knew about it
I think I is fair to tell them because they are being written about… You don’t actually need to say they’re being written about, but they know there is a blog and they know you are writing about your life so if it ever does become serious and they find out, they cant be upset. Pretty sure that was the loveat run on sentence ever.
I get the hesitancy in not wanting them reading, but i don’t think guys will hop online and start reading. And I definitely don’t think they’ll read archives. Maybe I’m naive.
Good question! I started blogging about two months ago & no one knows. Literally. No one. Not even my husband! ha It’s kind of my ‘me’ or ‘getaway’ time. I see a few other bloggers on here, are the same way! Glad I am not the only one 🙂 I think you should maybe keep it a secret for a little while longer, depends if you got real serious with a guy or not. Then tell them!
this is tough… but for the most part i dont want them knowing… just because i dont wantt o jinx things and i dont want them reading something and maybe not understanding it… i think its safer to just wait and tell them… you know…till they get to know you more…at least that is how i feel…
i want to be comfortable sharing whatever i want on my blog and if i knew the guy was reading it i wouldnt share as much…
just my thoughts…
I never told anyone that I blogged (guys I was dating). I felt like it gave them the upper hand to sit at home for hours on end and look through my whole life. Communication is key in a relationship, so telling him all about you is more vital than him just reading about it! PLUS, you wouldn’t want him to “judge” anything he has read w/o getting a full on explanation from you!
Does this even make sense?! Ha!
I post mine via facebook so that gives my 1500 friends access and updates. It has it’s up and downs, for sure. But for the most part, I’m glad I make it that public. It does keep talking about my dating life (at least until I had a boyfriend) from being a good idea for me. Blah.
Love,
B
I’ve struggled with this same thing. Do I use my real name? Do I use my daughter’s real name? What if a future boyfriend wants to Google my name? What if a future fiance’s mother Googles my name?! {scary thought!} But like someone else above said, everyone has a past. You shouldn’t run from that either. You can’t take that time away and anyone who asks you to isn’t worth your love and commitement. Is the past ugly? Ya at times it is God awful, but you can’t change that. The past has brought you to where you are today. So I say keep writing, don’t censor yourself, and if your blog comes up in conversation, then sell it to him baby!
I told only my sister when I started blogging and from there a few family members and friends found out. My husband knows I blog, but he doesn’t know to what extent. I think of it as me time. 🙂 he wouldn’t read it anyway but I also don’t blog about anything that he doesn’t know about.
Yeah idk if I would tell each guy I was dating but if you’re really into a guy, why not? You don’t want him to think you were hiding something from him later on. I just dont think they need to know right off the bat, give it some time.
I wouldn’t tell unless it got serious… When I was working I never told anyone bc I wanted to be able to VENT about work on my blog. Ha!
All my family knows I blog. My immediate family I don’t think really reads or cares, but my mother-in-law follows along religiously and that can get akward at times… Like when I blogged about the time I left my 5mo old at home on accident (for like 10min) she immediately called my husband all concerned and asked if I needed “help”… Agh!
Oohh…that’s tough! I don’t think I’d tell a guy until later on in the dating experience. Like you said, you should be able to blog about them without them knowing it.
I really think only a handful of people know about my blog. My mom, husband, and a couple friends.
I really don’t care who reads my blog – but with a hubs and kid – who cares?
I probably wouldn’t blog about the guys themselves. That might be a little awkward for them. What if they go back and read what you said about them? or the other guys? That’s just me. I had a blog when I met M, but we got married in two seconds flat, so I don’t think I count 🙂
Not many people in my life know I blog or tweet. When I was making my list of who to contact when in labor I thought about telling some if my besties that want all the updates they should just follow me on twitter. I use twitter more for venting so I prefer not to advertise my tweeting. I have blogged about my friends and don’t know what they would think. As far as dating, I think it gives the guy an advantage if he can read your blog. If the bs were smart they would know you want a kiss! I can’t see them putting in a lot of time to read old posts about Chad. It might come up if things get more serious with someone that you shouldn’t blog about fights or something which you don’t do anyways.
I say don’t tell them…because then they may read it and see that you are dating multiple people and it could just end badly. Yes we write blogs for our friends/famiyl to see but a guy you are dating is not your BF and if you want to blog freely I personally wouldn’t tell them until you are exclusive. Also, I met my husband on match.com so we can e-mail abotu that if you ever want to!
That’s tricky! Hmmm…I’d probably keep it hush hush for a little while until you actually are “serious” with this guy. If they ask you about it though, don’t lie. If he really likes you, he shouldn’t care! 🙂
My family doesn’t know I blog. Only some friends do. My boyfriend knows I do, but he doesn’t have the website and I hardly ever mention it around him. I don’t want the majority of people close to me to read it. I can’t explain why. I have glowing words to say about everyone so I can’t pinpoint why exactly I steer clear of telling people about it.
With that being said, though, if the guys you are dating already know about it, there is no going back lol. The right guy won’t be bothered by previous relationships, you pouring your heard out on your blog, or you being “google-able”. If it bothers a guy then psh, let him go.
I personally don’t think you owe it to anyone to let them know that you blog. Maybe as you reveal exactly who they are with pictures and names, you can let them know to make sure they are comfortable being on display, you know?
I started dating Ryan while in my blog hiatus, but I casually told him a few times that I blogged. When I got back to blogging he just knew it as a more important part of my life than when I was on hiatus because I couldn’t talk a bout divorce stuff. He reads what I write now, but I don’t think he goes back and reads about my marriage – it’d be awkward I think.
I publish my blog to Facebook about once a week, not everytime I write. So anyone who is a friend on there knows about it and can go anytime they feel and read what I write. I don’t want to hide from anyone or censor myself. If I don’t want people to know something, then I simply don’t write about it. I only started my blog a few months ago and I am married so I don’t have experience in this arena but if the guys you are dating are man enough to deal with the fact that you may write about them and you talked about your ex in past posts, then aren’t they more of a keeper anyways (everyone has ex’s and we can’t hide from that). Blogging is obviously a big part of your life so if they read it and can’t handle it, then they’re probably not worth the time anyways!
I’m having the same issue since I just recently a few months ago started dating someone new, and I was afraid he would be reading about the old boy in older posts – as well as my posts about the old boy these days, since I sometimes still feel the need to talk about him. I know that he knows I have a blog, I have not shared the link with him and consciously will not do so. He can figure it out I am sure, if he felt the need. However, I don’t think he reads it…I don’t know. It is hard to keep it from them once they are around you all the time and see your computer screen..
I wouldn’t tell them. Who knows what kinds of problems it would create. They would get jealous of hearing/seeing another name in your blog. You never know. Some guys might be super nosy and stalk your blog, others might not even care at all, much less know what you mean by blog…
I am a new follower as of last week I think… but my thought is…
This is your place to grow and be you. Share what you are comfortable with and when you write, think about 5 years from now… what will you want said about this person?
Basically you don’t want to give too much information that you might regret, especially if he turns out to be a terd and butthole. On the other hand– its a perfect way to learn from your mistakes or have a journal of a possibly long lasting future!
I totally get your question and issue with this, but if I were personally in the situation.. I most likely would not tell the guys that you blog, at least not yet. You should be able to write about whatever you want, and you will be putting a censor on yourself (consciously or not) if you know they know about it and read it. I don’t really see good things coming from it if any of the guys you are casually dating read the blog.. they’ll know about other dates, other kisses, etc.. not sure they would want to read about it :/ Now if you really don’t mind, then go for it. But like you said, with the openness comes the possibility of consequences!
That’s tough…I don’t really tell anyone I blog. My husband knows and so does my mom (but they don’t read it). My sister, SIL, and 3 friends read it but other than that it’s all other bloggers. I kinda wish my SIL didn’t at times because there are things I want to share that I don’t, just because I know she reads. It kinda sucks!
If I were you, I would just wait to tell them about the blog. It’s not like they need to know EVERYTHING about you right away. That is something that can come up in the future…
Hmmm…I would probably tell him up front that you are a blogger, but maybe not give him your blog address? That way he’s not blindsided if you decide you want to continue see him?
OOOH that’s a tough one! I’m pretty sure the only person who knows I blog is my husband, and that’s the way I want it. I bitch about family ALL the time, and I don’t want them to know about it. I started the blog partly because I needed a place to bitch about them besides to my poor husband. I have mentioned to my mom once or twice that I got free stuff b/c of my blog- but she’s not the type of person to take note of that or seek it out. I didn’t blog when I was single, so I’m not sure how to answer your question, but it’s a good one!
Difficult question! I would say that you don’t have to mention it to them right away. If they Google you and find it oh well. Hubs knows I blog and that’s about it. Family would probably love it or think it was stupid. I think it’s fun though to have something that’s just mine. Also, I would love to just barf my whole life out on my blog, but I guess I need to keep some things to myself. After all, Hubs and Babe didn’t sign up for this – I did. 🙂
I would not tell a guy I was dating; tell him only when it’s super serious I’d say. Also, darlingggg, you have way too many fabulous readers to ever go private and have to pick 100 🙂
I haven’t came out told my mom exactly but she figured out that i do but she does not know my blog name at all. I also have it fixed to where no one could find me if they tried googling my “real” name! There is a way you can change that to throw people off that might try googling your name to find your blog! Just a thought1 stick to basically being “raw” on your blog , being real , i love it! i look forward to your posts daily girl!
My family doesnt know, besides hubs. And a few of my real life friends know. I definitely would not tell someone who I was casually dating. The only way I would tell them about it is if my blog was really not personal at all. You want to be the one to tell him about your past, not have him sort through tons of posts reading about it all.
I would tell him that you blog because it’s a big part of who you are but I wouldn’t give him your blog address until you are serious, etc. You don’t want to have to filter yourself!! 🙂
Plus, you gotta play hard to get!
hehe
Only my close friends and family know about my blog and not all of them read it. It’s tough to figure out who to tell and who not to!
That’s tough! I feel like you have the right to keep it to yourself. It’s your blog and who you chose to share it’s existence with is your call. My family and friends don’t know about my blog. Only because it’s my outlet & if they really wanted to find it they could. As far as a guy you’re just dating.. I don’t think they need to know. If you got serious and started blogging in more detail about them at that point you should probably tell them. I too wonder about the issue of privacy but I love meeting new people through blogging. I think of all of the missed connections if I made my blog private.
I’m pretty open about it. I probably wouldn’t tell someone I just started dating unless it came up naturally in conversation, in which case I’d totally tell them I had one. My last bf knew about my blog, read it, and even guest posted a couple times–ha. I am pretty open, but I don’t go into the deep intricacies of relationships so much . . . so I guess there wasn’t ever anything on there that I wouldn’t have wanted him to see.
But sometimes I wonder if my exes ever read my blog. If any of mine had blogs, you better believe I’d be stalking them!!
It’s a big enough part of your life that you can’t just not tell someone that you’re even semi-serious about about it. Whether they read it or not will likely be up to them and not you. Let them know pretty early on and respect requests not to be written about. It would help both you and guys make decisions about whether it will work between you. It isn’t fair for a guy you’re dating to become blog fodder unknowingly.
My friends and family know. I would LOVE to go private too, if more that 100 could read it, mainly so that my in-laws won’t be able to read it. I wouldn’t tell either of them yet though
I wouldn’t tell the guy until it became exclusive. I don’t think you should go private either though.. you’re too popular for all that business! 😉
My husband is the only person who knows I blog so far. I think telling a guy you’re just casually dating about it is probably not a great idea. That way you can share all of your dating stories with us 🙂
Interesting. I never in a million years would think it’d be an issue! I’d think it’d come up organically, whenever it comes up.
The only people I’ve “told” are close friends and my family, who I don’t care if they read it. I did find out a few days ago that one of those friends passed around my link to EVERYONE. Which I didn’t know about until someone random said “so I read on your blog…” and I kinda stood there. She blogs too, but is super open about it, posting on facebook, etc. I just wasn’t a fan, but nothing I can do now, huh?? 🙂 I’m just weirded out people IRL read it and didn’t tell me they did. I’ve always posted as if everyone I know read it (I think it keeps yourself it check) but I’d like to have known they actually did!!
As for guys, I think I’d have to be super serious with him to tell him about my blog, or even introduce him to the blog. But then, I’m far less open than you are I think! You’ll notice I write about happenings, purchases, travel, etc, but not about feelings. I’m super private in person and blog land. 🙂
Yeah, for a long time I kept my blog to myself and a small group of people but that just wasnt as fun. Part of having a public blog is that you kind of have to watch what you say. It forces me to not talk crap about anyone, which is sort of a good thing. As far as dating…I would try not to tell them about it at least for a while.
I am glad blogs were not around when I was dating 10 years ago!! If they were I would have promised not to tell the guys I was dating but then I am sure I would get drunk and tell them all about it.
If I were you I would try to not tell them about for as long as you can. But you know it will come out. This is a tough one…Good luck!!
That’s tough. I still struggle with this. When I started my blog, only my mom and Jessica knew. I’ve gradually let more and more family members know and just a few close friends. When I did guest posters last week, I started tweeting about it. I have some non-blogger friends on twitter and wasn’t sure I wanted them to know, but now that more bloggers follow than non-bloggers, I don’t care so much anymore. I feel like the less non-blogger people that read, the more open I can be, but now that more people know, it does make me a little more conscious about what I write.
I think in a boy situation, I’d wait until things were more serious before saying anything, but you should just go with whatever your gut feeling is!
This is definitely a tough one. My friends, family, and coworkers know about my blog but it gets messy when it comes to guys I date. I’ve found having Stat Counter installed works WONDERS. It keeps track of where your visitors are coming from. I’ve recently starting hanging out with a new guy and I’ve noticed someone from his company has been stopping by my blog a lot lately. I assume it’s him so I haven’t mentioned him at all yet.
At first…hardly any of my IRL friends knew about my blog….slowly that has changed. NOW, people will comment on things that they read on my blog…and I am like, seriously, you are reading that?!!? Like..ppl I work with.
Not sure how I feel about this, but no turning back now!
Your blog is awesome, and nothing to be ashamed of. If I was you, and dating, I would probably wait a bit to tell ‘him’ abt the blog….idk…hard call!! BUT, you want to use this as an outlet….so I say, until you are pretty comfortable with a guy…he doesnt need to be reading your blog!
xoxoxo
Honestly I don’t want any of my friends/family reading my blog. I feel like that if I write about them they are going to throw it up in my face, especially if it were bad. I don’t think I can be as honest if they read.
I let my family know, and my grandparents know, which puts a limit on what I write: they give me a hard time for calling my husband ‘Jerk Face’ in my blog! sheesh people! I do it out of love 😉 I don’t think I would tell guy I dated (if I still dated).. that could be some prime blog material!
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