NOTE* I wrote this post a year-ish ago on My Twenties Blog….Some of you may have already read it.
6 years ago this week began the hardest time in my life to date….
Backstory….
When I was 15 my dad got very very sick. He has crohns disease and he almost died.
I was at a friends house laying out and my mom came to pick me up and told me that my dad had been in the hospital for 3 days. My parents were divorced so I didnt see my dad everyday and in the summers I would be so busy with camps and friends that sometimes we woudnt talk for a few days.
I was devestated. He was in the hospital for a few months and I didnt find out til later that they were actually arranging his funeral because the Dr’s said he wouldnt make it.
He did and he still struggles with crohns but works everyday, plays golf every Sunday and is healthy!
Back to when I was 21….
On January 25 2006
The woman who was like a 2nd mother to me died. She had strokes for months and was on life support. She was with our family since my mom was born and was the only constant in my life. When my parents divorced, when my sister had her drug problems I always had this amazing person making sure I was taken care of. Her death was the hardest day of my life. Or so I thought…
I gave the eulogy at her funeral and my mom had been sick for a few days. She went to the funeral and we thought she was just upset about the death and it was making her sick. It was like losing a mother to her as well.
A week later my mom was in the hospital and had emergency 8 hour long surgery.
She had diverticulitis and it abscessed. Her stomach was filled with 4 liters of infectious fluid. She almost died. She recovered and was in ICU for 3 weeks. The day after her surgery I lost it on the phone to my dad and stepmom and I couldnt stop crying.
I felt like my world was out of control.
I was in my Junior year of college, full course load, full time job, and an apartment across town.
I had to move home. My mom wouldnt be home for a few months and the house couldnt be left alone. I had to quit my job and run her business. My mom owns her own business and someone HAD to make sure it stayed afloat. I dropped 9 of my 15 credit hours.
3 weeks after my moms surgery, her mom, my grandmother died. She was 90 and had been suffering for a while.
Yes If you are keeping track in the span of 4 weeks, my 2nd mother died, my mom almost died and my grandmother died.
My mom couldnt go to her moms funeral because she was in ICU…she was devestated. The youngest of 4 daughters my mom was especially close to her mom.
My mom got out of the hostpital and 2 weeks later her oldest sister died of MS. 4 days after my 22nd birthday. Yep we are now at my 2nd mother, my grandmother and my aunt all dying within a few months.
It was the hardest, but made me stronger. I know when tough situations come up how bad it could really be. Whenever I get down on something dumb or drama comes up that seems important I realize in the grand scheme of things….its not.
What is important is knowing when things are the hardest you think they can ever be to count your blessings…twice!
My mom is stronger too. She has fully recovered even after having a colostomy bag for a year. She works out everyday, and is the most fun lady you’ll ever meet!
Im lucky to have both my parents still, because I know some people have it way worse.
I miss Weezie(thats her name) every single day of my life. A picture of her and I when I was 2 sits on my dresser, I miss my grandparents every day too. 2 years later my moms dad passed away the day before I turned 24.
Not a day goes by that I dont wish I could have spent more time with them, taken more pictures and made more memories.
Thank you for letting me share this.
Neely. I’m crying. I am so sorry for all of your losses. Especially so close together. I don’t even know what to say. ::hugs::
It’s always rough to lose the ones you love, especially so close together. So sorry you had to do it during a busy time in your life.
Wow, what a lady to look back and see how it made you stronger. So sorry about this, but so thankful for your outlook on life!
I’m so sorry Neely! That’s such a huge amount of loss and stress in a short amount of time. I’m proud of you for choosing to get stronger because of it. <3
Oh my God. You’re so strong.
My dad has Crohn’s Disease, and sometimes it’s scary. I can’t imagine what’s like to go through all that in just a few months!
So sorry you had to do it 🙁
I can’t even imagine Neely!! You are SO strong. xoxoxo
You are one tough cookie, and what a big heart you have. Each person whose story you told us is extremely lucky to have you in their lives.
WOW…I’m so sorry that all happened in such a short amount of time.
Side note: Weezie makes me think of Steel Magnolias 🙂 Yea I know her name was Weeza or something.
oh my goodness, this post gave me chills! you must be a very strong woman to be able to handle what life’s thrown at you and still be there helping others. sorry for your loss.. and happy to hear both of your parents are still walking with you!
xoxo!
I’m sitting at my desk crying. I just want to give you a hug!! Life is so precious, I try to tell everyone I care about how much they mean to me whenever I can. Which reminds me, I’m so glad we are friends!! Luv ya girlie!!
🙂
Rach
You are amazing for sharing! I remember reading this the first time … its hard to have so much pain and loss in such a short amount of time! But I fully believe it makes you stronger and appreciate more! xoxo
Wow, that’s a lot to go through in a matter of weeks! I’m so sorry for your losses Neely.
Wow, that is a lot to go through. You are a strong woman!
Sorry about you losses, but glad your parents are healthy and doing well!
Thank you for sharing – I truly appreciate when people are open and honest on their blogs. Thanks for letting us into even the hard, sensitive areas of life.
My Uncle suffers from severe crohns disease as well – an uncle I’m close to and care very deeply for. It’s such a hard battle. They recently thought I had it as well – which freaked me out, but ‘thankfully’, I just have a weirdly intense care of IBS.
Our health and our loved ones can be so easy to take for granted.
Love,
B
I can totally relate. I lost my grandmother about 5 years ago and it’s still so hard. I try and see my grandfather as much as I can. Prayers for you today.
I’m left speechless.
Whoa. That’s a lot of heartache :(. The thing is…we think we truly know a blogger because the blogger is pretty open about random stuff, but a lot of the time, we never get to hear and comment on something serious or something that totally breaks our friend’s heart. I’m glad you felt comfortable to speak about it, knowing that we would all listen and be supportive in hearing you.
Wow, what a rough time in your life!! So sorry. it’s so hard to lose someone close to you like that.
You went through so much in such a short period of time. Don’t ever doubt your strength. You weathered more than you needed to, and you came out stronger when most would crumble.
You.Are.Amazing. And don’t let anyone tell you different.
Wow, friend. Wow. You are such a strong person! I can’t believe you went through that all at once! I mean, some people our age haven’t ever even experienced a loss yet or anything close.. and you had so much going on at ONCE. 🙁 I admire the way you handled it all, friend. Some kids wouldn’t have done that-dropped college hours, moved home, etc. You’re a good person, a good daughter, a good friend. Sending so much love and hugs, friend.
this post brought me to tears. you’ve experienced such loss and heartache at a young age. thank you for sharing your story and your strength.
your strength is inspiring! I know what that feeling is like. My stepdad, who is practically my dad has terminal brain cancer. I’m so sorry you had to go through so much loss.
xox
Oh my goodness Neely, that was definitely a rough time for you. Sometimes it takes rough times in our lives to realize that little things aren’t as big as we make them out to be. I have dealt with loss and it really changed my perspective on how I shouldn’t take anything or anyone for granted, how I should spend as much time with them as possible and how to not let little things drag me down. Thank you for sharing this! xo
Wow! Thanks for sharing, I’m sure it wasn’t easy to talk about and I know it wasn’t easy to go through. You are stronger than a lot of people I know.
Awww Neely, I’m so sorry you had to go through all this at the same time. But I know it’s made you stronger!
So sorry Neely. That had to be such a difficult time for you and I know today is as well. My mema died in April of 2002 and my dad died in June of 2002. It is hard every year but gets a little easier each year. Hope it’s the same for you.
Wow Neely. That’s a lot to go through. Thanks for being so real and so raw with us.
Losing people we love can be one of the hardest things about life…I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. You seem like such a strong person who has continued to grow and move forward with the memory and spirit of those close to your heart, helping you along the way. Thank you for sharing this.
Just think about how much stronger you’ve become because of what all you’ve been through. And it definitely makes you count your blessings.
I LOVE YOU. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through! And your mom is so strong and awesome – nothing as small as that much infectious fluid could keep her down . 😉
*hugs*
So much to go through especially in such a short time. I’m so sorry!
I recently started following your blog.
I am truly sorry for your losses, I can’t imagine the great pain you had to go through. I lost my dad last June, and only that one loss has been very difficult. I admire what a great strong woman you are. Thanks for sharing.