When I turned 30 last week I spent a lot of time reflecting on my 20’s. A lot of it was a mix of not knowing what I was doing in life, with relationships, and in general so I wanted to write a letter to my 22 year old self and what I wish I could tell her now.
Dear 22 year old Neely,
So you’re finishing college! That’s great. However you are going to hate working in Advertising and it wont last long. You are far too strong willed and opinionated to be stuck in a cube all day. Be wary of the people you call your “best friends” in 5 years you won’t be talking to any of them anymore aside from one. You will realize that they are not the type of people you want in your life. They are the ones who drag you down and facilitate bad decisions. They are the friends you party with but not the ones that are there for you when you need them. Take note of the kind of friend you want and be that friend. Don’t worry in a few years you will have some of the best friends imaginable and it will feel like you’ve known them forever.
Boys. Oh boys. So next year you will meet a guy that you are convinced is the one for you. You will think this because he is 5 years older. He has a good job, nice friends, hes a grownup. You have not dated a real grown up man yet so this will cloud your judgement. When you guys break up you are going to think its the end of the world. It is not. Unfortunately 2 years later you will meet another guy. Trust your instincts 2 months in when you break up with him for not being the right guy for you. When you think he really isn’t into the relationship TRUST THAT. Sadly though you will spend 3.5 years going back and forth about it. Never fear a mere 4 months after you finally cut ties with him for good you will meet the one you will marry. Its a rough journey with boys but in the end you will see it was worth it because you have found your one.
Instead of spending every Thursday-Saturday of your weekends when you are 23-25 drinking at bars with your friends maybe take up a hobby. Trust me all that comes from those weekends are a lot of bad decisions, and days spent feeling like crap. But you grow out of that phase around 25 and start realizing that staying home with netflix is far more fun. Remember though it takes everyone time to get here. Don’t judge those that still want to go out and party. To each their own.
You are so much stronger than you ever thought you could be and this will be tested when your dad gets Cancer. It will be right around your 28th birthday and you will discover that you are his rock. All this time you thought he was yours. It goes both ways. Stay strong for him because he will fight through this.
Your mom is always right. Period. Just remember that when you are arguing with her about something. She’s been there done that and she knows.
When you are 25 you will discover a passion for something you didn’t expect. Blogging. You will think it wont last. You will think no one will read. You are wrong. This will become your true passion in life and you will love it even when you hate it.
22 year old Neely you will go through a lot before your 30th birthday but remember you will come out on the other side. Maybe a little worse for wear. Maybe a few gray hairs. But you will get through it. Just enjoy the crazy ride.
Love,
30 year old Neely
What would you say to your 22 year old self?
What a beautiful letter. Oh, if we only knew then what we know now, right? My favorite part of your post?
“Your mom is always right. Period. Just remember that when you are arguing with her about something. She’s been there done that and she knows.”
This was true for me with my mom. Now I can’t wait until my feisty daughter understands it too. 🙂
This is awesome! I love the quote!
I love this. I think I would tell my 22 year old self not to settle career-wise. There is nothing worst then being in a position where there is no room for growth.
Well said. Isn’t it amazing how much time we spend on things that we don’t even really want to pursue? Wonderful post.
I love this!! May steal for my bday next week!
This brought tears to my eyes <3
Ah! I love this. I’m 23 and literally learning// going through just about all that you just said. I guess we all have to go through it. There’s reassurance in being reminded that I’m not the only one.
I just found your blog through the article “5 ways to grow your blog” on The Its Girls website. Thanks for the tips – literally just started my blog today! They will come in handy I’m sure 🙂
What a wonderful post! I had my 52nd birthday on Monday. I am going to steal our idea and write a letter to my 30 year old self this weekend. My life was turned upside down that year but I made it through and am a better person for it.
Loved this letter seems close to what I would write for myself as well!
Great writing. I would say FORGET ABOUT MEN and focus on career first, school 2nd, family 3rd and saving for a house. Men are only for fun occasionally and will only spend your money and ruin your life. They do not respect your goals or your needs. Your 20’s are for developing your future so you can care for yourself and be independent. Never drink, never smoke and never go to a bar. Its a waste of someone as smart and capable as you are. Develop your personal talents and interest above spending time socializing. Spend all the possible time you can with your Mother as she will die and you will miss her terribly every day. Beware of all who call you friend, your true friends and the people you can trust will not be the people you call friends now. they will not remain in your life. Be prepared for being alone in life and caring, trusting only yourself.
Ugh, boys… Why do we spend so much time thinking about the wrong ones? I feel like my letter would read a lot like yours. Although to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have listened to my own advice. Hahaha!
LOVE THIS! I might have to borrow this and write a letter to my own 22-year-old self. Wow, how I’ve grown and changed since eight years ago!!!!!!
love this! especially the dating part! so true!!!
This post totally inspired me to write something similar. But I think I’m going to write it to my 15 year old self since my sister just turned 14 so I feel like it’s relevant. 🙂
Oh! My 18 year old self would have turned out amazing had i went back now and told myself what Not To Do!
I love this… and it’s oh so true. I don’t even want to think about what I should be telling my 20 year old self… or 22 year old self… or 24 year old self… well you get the picture, LOL
You shouldn’t marry that fool who you can never say no to. You should have cut all ties when he 1st broke up with you that summer before college. That marriage ends, almost ends your life before the marriage is even officially over actually. Cut him & everything about him out of your life and spend the last few years of college fully experiencing everything it has to offer. Keep remembering your mom does know what she’s talking about and has never steered you wrong. Mom’s are always right.
That’s what I’d say to my 22 year old self if a rewind button existed in life…oh how I wish it did too!
this really speaks to me. Im turning 30 this year and I really wish that such letters existed and could find its way to me. But at the same time all the wrong choices of my life and bad turns led me to this Happy place I am now. so maybe that letter wouldnt be so helpful now. Overall Love your letter
Such a great letter! If only there were some kind of time machine that would let us actually see these! I’m 23 now and I wish I could send 13 year old me a letter of lessons I learned over the past 10 years!