It Starts With Coffee

Part of it depends on whether or not my husband happens to be home at the time- home as in the same state/country as me. He’s active duty military, and often away for long stretches of time so balance for us means that there are literally months at a time where my attention has to be focused elsewhere.  As a matter of fact, he’s away training for a month right now. So I’m flying solo, taking care of our two year old and four year old, home, and business. I know that not much will get done this month with my business but my first priority is keeping our kids in their routine and our home running smoothly. However, last month he was lucky enough to take leave and you better I was working my booty off when I had the chance. For us, this is finding balance.

The first is my weekly dry-erase calendar.

 I have to admit, it was the hubby’s idea and it really is genius. With both of our kids in preschool now, I can pretty dependably count on six completely kid free hours a week, and six hours a week with just our two year old {If you’re a mama, you understand what just having just one kid out of the house will do to your productivity!}I’m also lucky enough to have them both still napping in the afternoon. So with that in mind, I was able to create a weekly schedule that allows me to delegate time to both the business and our family. There’s time set aside for sewing, blogging, answering emails, filling orders, photographing, editing, uploading and doing activities with the kids, as well as errands, grocery shopping and family time. 

My calendar has freed me so much in terms of working my business because I no longer feel guilty when I’m working. When I’m sewing in the afternoon while the kids are playing, I’m OK with it, because I know that I have time set aside throughout the week for special activities and playtime.

The second trick is one that’s oh so powerful, but oh so hard. Learning to say “No”. It’s difficult to say No, but with two small children under foot and a husband who is rarely home, 

it is absolutely necessary.

For the past two years, my husband has been commanding a company, and so there have lot of extra demands placed on my time as well. And that’s OK. I knew it was coming, I was prepared to take on the responsibilities, and I adore my volunteer work with the Army. But now, that season in our life has passed, and I’ve spent the past month getting re-focused on our goals for the year. Yes, I’ve had to say no a few times, but it’s essential to maintaining harmony in our home. 

The third trick I’ve learned is just spending time with myself.

 There is nothing I love more than a good bubble bath. I love to grab a huge stack of magazines, my favorite candles, strawberry body scrub and a cup of green tea and just soak until the water turns cold. I do my best thinking in the tub and its not uncommon for me to end up with a pile of pages ripped out of those magazines and notes scribbled over anything that will sit still.  I love to take a few minutes in the morning to have my coffee and see the news {its the only TV I see most days}, I love to hole up in my studio when I’m feeling inspired and just sew and sew and see it where it takes me. I love to write. I LOVE to write. I adore it. And I love to head to a coffee shop and curl up in the corner and just write for hours. Some things I publish, some I never do. Each of these things is part of who I am, but when life is busy and our days are overloaded it’s so easy to see them as just petty luxuries and let them slip away. But when I allow myself to take just a few minutes a day for myself, I find that I am so much more content and productive in all the other areas of my life.  And I’m just plain happier. And a happy mama, makes a happy home, right?

Finding balance takes time, discipline, and it takes an on-purpose attitude. Identify what’s important to you, realize that there are only twenty four hours in a day and then let go of thinking you have to be everything to everybody.  Remember that the idea of balance to you, may be completely different from someone else’s idea of balance, and then do what works for you!

And just know that if your kids eat mac n’cheese three nights in a row or you just “forget” to change out of your yoga pants for four days, I won’t judge you. I will however, invite you over for coffee. I think we’re going to be good friends. 

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