I think we all have to cross this bridge a time or two….or twelve. What to put on the blog? What personal things are we going to divulge to our readers and to the world? What things are ok and not ok to write about?
Clearly this is a personal decision for everyone so these are my thoughts on how I do it.
For instance, I refer to my boyfriend as A because of HIS privacy. No he did not ask me to and Im sure one day I will use his actual name but with my last boyfriend he was Chad from day one and I didn’t want that for A. I wanted some semblance of privacy and a personal life that not everyone knew all the details to.
It was very important from the beginning for me to keep a lot of things about our relationship private.
In regards to things that are just my life I really blog about it all: My struggles with depression, what birth control I use, etc.
With my family I keep a lid on most things, I post pictures and of course everyone knows about my dads struggle with cancer and my older half sisters drug problem. All things I have posted about. But those are two things that greatly effect me and so of course they have to come out on the blog. Otherwise I just dont feel like I am honest with my readers.
When I read blogs one of the things I look for is someone who is super real. Someone who puts it all out there. The good the bad and the ugly. I am not by any means saying I dont read blogs that just talk about fun cheerful stuff because I do.
For me its so important to keep this blog real. Between the giveaways, sponsor posts, and linkups I really like to make my content as real and down to earth and honest and raw as possible. When I write about my struggles I do so in hopes that others can relate. When I write about my triumphs I do so in hopes that my peers with support me.
Blogging for me is an outlet and some days that outlet is pinterest pictures of clothes I want, some days that outlet is me struggling or being excited or divulging personal information.
I have asked so many of my blog friends, how do you decide what to post on the blog? We all have different answers and different ways of coming to that conclusion. For some its keeping their names, their husbands and kids names all private. For others they put it all out there. Some people fall in the middle.
I hope no matter what any of us write we all support that and understand that and can relate that we are all human and we all have to look at our blogs and know we are posting what we feel is right for us and keeping a few things to ourselves.
My question today is …
How do you decide what to divulge on the blog?
My boss always says, “don’t put anything in writing that you wouldn’t mind reading on the front page of the Courier.” I kinda halfheartedly believed him and the odd wrong thing or two would occasionally escape. Until the first time I was subpoenaed. (Don’t worry. It’s happened twice now and it never has anything to do with me. Usually it’s two parents squabbling over custody.) The thing is, when you have to sit in a witness stand and read aloud one of your emails or reports or something, it kinda changes you. Nobody at work, none of my friends, or any of my family know that I blog, except my sister, but she’s safe. I don’t use any real personal information. HOWEVER, that doesn’t matter. It’s the interwebs, for goodness sake, and everyone can see everything! So I never write anything I wouldn’t mind a parent or coworker I despise throwing in my face. That’s my filter. Educators lose their jobs over personal blogs. You have to be careful. That seriously cuts down on content choices, but I wanna write, so that’s probably why I write so much about the escapades of my kittens 🙂 TMI? Sorry. You asked.
I have been wondering this myself. There are topics I want to discuss on my blog lately, which is probably why there isn’t much on it right now, that I am unsure of talking about because they are of a personal nature and I guess if I talk about a subject, I want people to know why I bring it up. It’s such a hard choice to make. Put myself out there and everything that’s ever happened in my life or keep it hidden for just those I have let those secrets out to?
I have my moments where I try to figure out when something is blog appropriate or not. It varies but for the most part I try to be real and honest about my life. I want my blog to be something people read where they get to know me for me and not just the fluffy good stuff either. Obviously there are some things maybe better left off the internet as a rule but for most things it helps build a relationship with your readers for them to see things how they really are in your life.
I think for me it depends on the situation. I have a real life friend who reads this daily and if I post something that has to do with anyone she knows, she’s got a big mouth and it will be told to that person before you can blink. My stepmom had come across an old blog I use to have and she reamed me for posting stuff. So it really just depends on my mood and what not. I value all my readers and you all have great advice, so usually its hard to decide what I’m going to write.
I think for me it goes on a case by case basis when it comes to personal things for me. If it is something that happened with another person, if it will be obvious who they are by what I write, I want to make sure they know and are okay with it before I post. With my daughter, I keep her name and most things about her off the internet. I think she should have the choice of how much of her life is out there, so I try to keep that part minimal. If I talk about parenting I talk about my side of it and less about her. Just my personal preference. With other things I usually write them and let them sit in draft for a while, because that way I can decide if I really want everyone to know that or if I was just writing because I needed to get it out.
I totally think you’re right about how blogging being an outlet means your content is across the board. Happy. Sad. Deep. Light. No one is only one of those things, and I think it’s important to not make it look like everything is too perfect.
Loved hearing your take on this!
When I started my blog six years ago, it was to keep our friends and family updated on our lives as we had moved two provinces away for university. I never dreamed blogging would become what it is today and, knowing what I know now, I wish I had kept myself and my boyfriend more anonymous. Now, I want to divulge more on my blog, but I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings and I don’t necessarily want those who know me IRL to know EVERYTHING that is going on in mine and my boyfriend’s lives. It’s a struggle.
As I’ve gotten older, I have started to let go and not get anxious about what my friends and family will think. I like being ME on my blog. And the personal posts I do seem to get a lot more comments and attention than the “fluffy” posts I put up.
It’s not easy, especially with kids. I struggle daily, and maybe that’s why the blog is slowly becoming more about me & less about them than when I started. Don’t get me wrong, when they do something particularly adorable, I post it, but writing the thing about Butter finding his penis was a touchy subject. My husband wasn’t particularly happy, but I needed to commiserate with other mothers.
I respect the heck out of the level of privacy you’ve maintained. And I love your blog, even though I don’t comment as often as I should. Keep at it.
I haven’t told anyone that I have one. I don’t think they need to read it. My blog is where my outlet. I don’t have very many friends so being able to express myself somewhere is nice. I talk about some personal issues but I have changed my last name to protect me but that’s about it.
I really and truly am an open book. There isn’t much I don’t divulge. Probably the only area I give myself limits is in talking about my job.
I agree with you. There are some things that you just want to keep private, especially when it is someone (like A and B) who did not choose for part of their lives, through us, to be public.
For me, it is a gradual process of putting things out there. I know my mom reads my blog. I know some other family members and family friends do, so if there is something I don’t want them knowing I wouldn’t put it on the blog. But that could change. I know everyone who reads ACWOM appreciates how open you are, and that takes a hell of a lot of guts!
I never talk about work, family problems or personal things about our marriage.There are certain things I just want to keep to myself. I use my blog to talk about things I am struggling with such as my anxiety or fears because it helps me to deal and become stronger. It really depends for me on what I keep off the blog.
Being a “newbie” to the blogging world I find it hard to dive into those touchy subjects right away. I think of what others will think of my blog…wrong-o right? I am quickly learning to not blog for others, but to blog for myself, in hopes that I may inspire someone through my true to life experiences. I love reading blogs where the writer bears their hearts and shares their inner struggles and not just posts great looking pictures of their “perfect” families. Thank you for being one of those true to life bloggers. We appreciate it and I can learn a lot from you!
I feel like some things should be kept private. Marriage problems is a huge one for me, somethings like that tend to start arugments between other people. I wouldn’t want an argument between my husband and I on the front page of the paper.. I’m pretty open though, I just try to make sure whatever i do talk about others can relate.
It’s such a fine line, deciding what to share with the world and what not to. I share things as personal as our infertility journey but mainly because that it deals with ME and I’ve met so many women in similar situations. I mention Dylan but I don’t share about his job in the Air Force or anything specific about what he does. I write about the things we do together but only if it involves me. My blog is about our life but I respect his privacy so I don’t over share. I love reading blogs where the person is so very real, the happy parts and the struggles, and that’s what I hope I bring to my own blog!
I love this post! I am one of those bloggers who doesn’t share her husband or kids name, but I completely respect those who do! I always believe as bloggers – we share what we feel comfortable with sharing, if you don’t feel comfortable sharing A’s name right now that is perfectly fine! You know what is best for you and your blog + your life!
I share all of the first names but not the last names but when it comes to information I don’t share anything that would keep them from getting a job, or get fired from a job. In this sue happy world we live in even though they’re friends and family I just don’t know if I trust them not to sue me if they lost their job because I posted a post talking about how we went to the movies on a Thursday and oops they had called in sick that day.
As for my stuff I actually hold back from posting my personal opinions on things to not tick off the few readers I have. I didn’t post my opinions of the Presidential Election for example.
I think you’re doing a good job. I as well keep my husband’s name private for his benefit, as well as our last name. I’ll let it out but decided not link my Facebook or anything with it. To each his own
<3
I struggle sometimes because I’m a teacher and I would hate for my personal-personal business to be out there for parents, students, or other school people to see. I try to keep my blog a positive place but like to be myself and not a zsushed up version of myself.
I try not to put anything too personal on the blog as far as our last name and where we live. I also don’t post about what I do for a living other than I’m in marketing. I like to be as transparent as possible without giving away too many personal details.
I am trying to be more open and “real” on my blog and I am actually enjoying it more since I decided to do that! There are a couple things that I think are off limits like things I don’t think my husband would want me to share about him, for example. I try not to use my real last name on things but sometimes it comes out anyways (like when I sign up for email newsletters etc) It’s good to keep it real!
I was just thinking about this recently. I feel like I need to be MORE open than I am on the blog. There are things that I want to write about but then I think about WHO is reading it and I get nervous. I need to remember that it’s MY blog and these are MY memories and not worry about who might be reading! Plus I think it’s unfair to my readers to not be honest about certain things!
I’m still semi-new, so It’s a day by day decision for me.
I know I blog for ME, but I also don’t want to offend anyone-don’t want to write something people won’t want to read-etc. (I try to be a people-pleaser…sometimes–which is one of my problems, lol). I also fear that someone that I decide to maybe rant about will find my blog & then there will be a big ordeal. Even though at the root of the post, it’s about ME, sometimes other people are the cause or triggers, etc. Ya know? So, I don’t know. It’s really hard sometimes.
I haven’t touched on my depression struggles much, yet. But I have talked about my baby fever & lack of functioning of my inner lady bits, etc. I try to be as real as I can. Good, bad, pretty, ugly, silly, serious, whatever. I like the realness. & I’m totally random. lol
I’ve only been blogging for a few months and have been going by my gut feeling/intuition as to how much info I divulge. Over the weekend I penned a post about what anxiety means to me, and I decided not to publish it. But I have written posts previously about me and my depression. If it’s a situation involving someone else, I make sure I would be comfortable discussing it with them. If they read it and confront me about it, I wouldn’t hit publish if I wanted to run and hide from them!
Cheers – Lou @ The Honesty Path
I put things out there that are me, that I feel others will be able to relate with/to, but I still keep a lid on certain things. There are things in my life I wouldn’t blog about because they’re personal. Things I flat out just don’t care for people to know. That may be because I think it’s none of their business, maybe I just don’t care to talk about it, or whatever… the things I DON’T put are the things I obviously don’t want to talk about.
Mike was simply M for the first year and a half I blogged, I’ve gotten a lot more “real” since I moved to WordPress … I’m not exactly sure why, but something about the move and being self-hosted and owning my content made me want to share more … I’m sure I will never go into great detail about all the areas of my personal life, and I already know when I have children I will NOT be posting their pictures on the blog for safety and privacy reasons, but over all I love sharing my life and my thoughts … Its become a great outlet for me.
I think I do a pretty good job about keeping things real. Heck, I just admitted to having money problems!! It’s just who I am and I try to make my blog ME as much as possible.
This is an excellent question. I glanced over some of the answers and I agree most with the very first response (Katie). I, too, work in a field where I was told the same thing. My immediate family knows I blog but my sister is the only one that’s tech savvy or interested enough to keep up! LOL None of my coworkers know I blog. I blog for me and if they knew, I feel like it would become an everyday conversation. I don’t want to blog and then have to talk about it at work, I feel that defeats the purpose. I’ve also shared my blog link on Facebook. I don’t think that many of my FB friends are followers, but that doesn’t mean they don’t read it. So…lol…I said all that to say, I don’t get too personal on my blog. I’m a very private person in real life, so I don’t share things I wouldn’t share with just anybody in real life (if that makes sense). I refer to my boyfriend as CB for his privacy as well and not because he asked. I haven’t put any pics of my fam up for their privacy as well. So, it’s a very thin line and it does depend on the person. There are days when I wish I could share my real thoughts, especially on my not so good days…but, I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m comfortable with doing that just yet!
Great read!!