Have you ever heard about how some friendships are “for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?” It’s a concept that I don’t think I would have understood well before 30. Friendships in your 30s are different. In my personal experience, it’s when I have learned the most about friendships. This post started as a blurb in a newsletter I wrote a few weeks ago and I really wanted to expand on it after having so many good conversations via email with people.
Friendships In Your 30s
I think growing up you have a lot of friends for a reason. You are all together in school, or sports, or dance, or whatever it is you do. Maybe they are your neighbors and your parents are friends. But as you grow up you most likely drift from most of them. Then you have your friends for a season. So they are your college drinking buddies, or friends from your first job, maybe they are girls you would go to bars with in your early 20s. Those “season of life” friends. To me, there are a lot of these friends you think will be lifetime friends but you each leave those “seasons” at different times. Then there are the friends for a lifetime. So you might have some from growing up you are still close with. Maybe a few of the girls from your early 20s are still in your life.
For me, the friends I have now are all the people I see in my life in the long run. I feel like at 38 I am the most myself I have been and the people I surround myself with are people I align with on things that are important to us and they are people who have my back. They are people who cheer me on and make me feel great about myself and hopefully I am doing the same for them. I learned in my 30s who I was and in return, it showed me who the reals ones are. It doesn’t matter if you met someone a week ago, a year ago, or 35 years ago. You know when you know with friendships just like any other relationship.
Cherish these friendships and be the kind of friend you want people to be to you.
I would love to know your thoughts on this concept!
This is so spot on. Most of the friends I have now are the same ones I had as a girl. I still have them because we love and respect one another.
I think any friendship can last a lifetime if you nurture it. I love this post.
Such an interesting point of view. I used to wonder why I had so many friends in my twenties and a limited group now. Yes, I agree – we know ourselves better as we age and we keep the important friendships close to us.
To be honest, I have never really had that ‘friendship’ bond with anyone since my childhood friends. And now we have all moved on. I’m in my 30s now, and I tell you this, it’s lonely being in your 30s and having no friends. Therefore, I intend to keep busy and spend time with my daughter. And I’m happy.
The people with who we surround ourselves are important. Friends are what inspire me to be myself and I’m glad that I can always rely on them.
This is such an important concept. As I grow older, I learned that the fewer friends I have the better. Choose your friends wisely and stick to people who have your back always.
For me, friends matter less as I get older. Not that I don’t want friends but they just don’t matter as much (31).
I have friends that were here for a season and now they are gone. I miss them from time to time, but I know that it’s impossible to have friends be so close all of the time. And then there are the friends that you were so close to that even though you’re far apart now, it’s like you never left when you are together again.
I truly understand this. My whole life I have only had a select few “friends”. Only really one that is my forever friend. Someone we can go a month without talking and just start where we left off.
It’s good to have people that align with you and things important to you. This is an interesting intake about friends.
THANKS FOR SHARING WITH US.