I spent 22 months being so careful. We didn’t take our kids to restaurants, go to concerts, travel much, hang out with unvaccinated people, etc. We wore N95 masks everywhere. We were SO DILIGENT! But I got COVID. Liam came home from school with it and I got it. I remember back in November when my kids first had it (yes, Liam had it twice in 6 weeks) I was SO UPSET. Thankfully they had it very mild. But then we got it again and this time it was worse. There is such a shame with COVID that I feel we all put on ourselves and I want to talk about my experience.
The Shame With COVID
In elementary school, we play a game “circle circle dot dot now I’ve got my cootie shot.” I remember it so well, it was a joke right. I feel like we live in that joke now. I got vaccinated as soon as I could (Moderna) and I also got boosted. I still was extremely diligent, although I did things like go to the gym, go to restaurants with friends, but I always wore a mask and stayed away from crowds. No concerts, movie theaters, big events, etc. We even opted to not stay for my cousin’s wedding reception (I was in the wedding) to avoid crowds of people.
(My at-home test about 3 minutes after I took it)
So to my surprise, I still got COVID, although from my son who was exposed at school. It still felt like a failing. I felt like I had let my family down. I was scared for my husband and daughter and my mom who also ended up getting it. I somehow ended up having the worst reaction to COVID. Even boosted I was incredibly sick. The sickest I have ever been in my life. I would say for months that even if I got it, I was sure I would have a mild case because I’m healthy. I eat well, I work out, I take vitamins, I sleep. Nope, it took me down. There was a point one day I couldn’t even lift up my head. I couldn’t play with my kids, I couldn’t do much of anything. Taking a shower took all my energy. I had ALL The symptoms. Even the ones they say are rare. It was terrible.
(Picture I sent to a friend one night at 7 PM)
While there is a significant shame that comes with COVID and fear, there is also something I have seen talked about almost not at all: Depression. To be fair I am prone to depression and anxiety and take medicine for both. But, I did not expect the depression I started to feel with COVID. It was a combination of things for me: Andrew stayed away from me as much as he could as we didn’t want him getting it, so when he was around me he wore a mask, we didn’t hug or kiss and that’s HARD for 10 days with the person you love. It wears on you, especially when you aren’t feeling well and you want comfort. It was depressing to not have my normal go go go energy. I am someone who wakes up at 5, I work out, I am productive, I get all the things done. I couldn’t do anything. I had to just rest, and that’s something I am not good at. My work suffered, my motivation suffered, I had no appetite. It was just a lot.
I think it’s important to note that while there are so many factors of COVID that can hurt you physically, and hurt your body, it also hurts your mental health.
Some things that DID help me:
- Knowing that it will end, I will feel better, I will be my normal self again
- Listening to my body and doing what it told me to do: sleep, rest, drink water
- Eating what sounded good: mostly soup and fruit
- Taking vitamins (consult your doctor on which ones)
- For my migraines which I got A LOT of during COVID, I used my ice roller, my acupressure mat, and Aleve
- Crying- yeah I cried a LOT. It was just really hard
(trying to get migraine relief on my acupressure mat)
There’s no rhyme or reason why COVID is harder for some than others. My mom is 70 and had an extremely mild case. I’m 37 and mine was NOT mild. Don’t let people shame you either. It’s not a moral failing to get COVID. It’s not weak. It’s happening everywhere and to everyone. Don’t let people gaslight you into thinking it’s not a big deal. It’s a VERY big deal. Even if it isn’t for them it may be for you, if it isn’t for you it may be for the person you infect.
I know this was rambling and long and if you are still with me thank you, mostly this was something I needed to get off my chest and share with you about. I hope you never feel the shame of COVID but if you do, I’m here if you ever need to talk.
What was your COVID experience like?
COVID is the worst thing I’ve ever had in my life. It laid me out, and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get back up again.
So great to hear that you guys had mild symptoms of COVID. I and my husband got it too, and unfortunately now that I’m pregnant. We also got mild symptoms thankfully and we got over it after few days. Don’t feel ashamed of this virus, I think it’s part of the “new normal life” we have.
My suggestion to you would be to change the vaccine company next time. In my country, I haven’t heard that someone got sick that bad after a booster, except for really old and sick people.
Covid sucks!!! It isn’t fun when you catch it. I found many we know got it from school too. We ended up isolating with Covid over Christmas and New Year. All we did was go to school before that and occasionally a quick shopping trip.
I also got covid and struggled more so with the mental effects of it than the physical. I wish I’d of seen this post when I had it! Thank you for sharing something that isn’t spoken about enough.
This is really good encouragement. I had Covid twice. First, in February 2020, before it really even made its way into the public eye in the US (aside from rumors over it – but there were no tests and the shutdown hadn’t happened yet). And we got it again immediately following Christmas. My husband was out of work, I couldn’t function. It was miserable. And just like you, that was even following vaccinations and taking precautions. I felt like I didn’t want to tell a soul that we had it because it seemed like we did something wrong, ya know? But we didn’t. We did all we could and still wound up with it. It’s just a really crappy situation our world is going through and even the most careful people can wind up with it. I’m so sorry that it took you down so hard!
I’m so sorry you all got sick! I hope you are all feeling better without any lingering symptoms!
We haven’t gotten it (yet). We barely go out but my daughter is in school. And our county just lifted their mandatory mask rule, so I feel like it’s coming. I definitely could understand a lot of the guilt and frustration from getting sick after restricting yourself for so long. Bleh. Ready for this all to be over!
I felt awful when I had COVID and not just physically. My husband and I are key workers in a local market where customers don’t adhere to any of the PPE recommendations. So, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll get it! Yet, I felt like I was diseased when I contracted it and again when my husband got it. There is an untalked about stigma when you have it and it can leave you so paranoid after.
Waa, I’m sorry you had to go through it. It sucks he got it from school. You didn’t let them down though
It has been tough to avoid covid lately. It is crazy that we are going into our third year of the pandemic! I have not tried that acupressure mat but would be interested in trying it out.
Ah we just got it too and we were so careful! I’m glad y’all are ok now too!
It’s been extra important to take extra care of ourselves and yes, a big part of that is our mental health.
Im so sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad to hear that you feel better now.
Covid is the worst thing. It’s scary and makes people around us anxious. I hope it goes away soon!
Covid definitely hits everybody differently, much like any illness, and I think it’s so wrong that people judge you for that. Fortunately I have not experienced that.
Hey! You will be just fine! covid is tough but you’re tougher
Aaawwww…you don’t have to be ashamed though, girl! It’s completely normal to contract COVID. What is ashaming is the government playing games on our lives all over the world when they choose to hoard the vaccines and their respective patents! Keep wearing that mask and disinfecting!
I don’t think you have to be ashamed of having tested positive for COVID-19. It’s inevitable especially with new variants coming in. You just have to be more optimistic. Hope you’ll feel better soon!
Covid and the whole pandemic really changed us. Even being extra careful. We’ll never know when will it strike or if we will be exposed to it. Still hoping the it will soon be back to our normal life.