Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is mom guilt. Why it’s a thing and why we feel it. There is not something we hear about called dad guilt. Why? Because women are expected to do it all. We are expected to work, and be home, we are expected to be nurturing but also strict. We are expected to be fun but also rigid. I mean there are SO MANY THINGS to remember. So today I am going to talk about the truth about mom guilt.
The Truth About Mom Guilt
I recently went on a business trip to Cincinatti. It’s the second one in two months and I also had a work trip to New York that Liam and Andrew came with me on. When I left for both trips to Ohio I felt so guilty. The first one Liam was 13.5 months old and it was my first time away from him overnight. It was beyond difficult. I know he was fine with Andrew but I felt awful.
Andrew and I are going on our first trip away from Liam next week. It’s partially work related for me, but again I feel bad. I know Liam will be in great hands and that people travel without their kids all the time but a part of me feels huge mom guilt. I try to remind myself that we have to put our relationship first and that we need time away as a couple.
I feel mom guilt about lots of things not related to travel. Does Liam get enough time outside? Is he in enough classes? Did we pick the right preschool? Should I be sending him to preschool at 18 months? Is Montessori education the best choice for him? Should I have tried harder with breastfeeding? I feel questions and guilt about all these things.
The truth about mom guilt is that it never stops. That’s what I’ve realized. No matter if our babies are one week old or one year old or I imagine 10 years old there is always a form of guilt as moms. If we work we aren’t home enough. If we are home we aren’t showing them how to be independent working moms. If we work from home we aren’t paying enough attention to them. As I write this post Liam is playing on the floor next to me with blocks. I stop and play with him every other minute but I still feel guilt for even writing this post while he’s awake. The irony right?
I know this post was a bit rambling, but I wanted to share that the truth about mom guilt is we all feel it. We all experience it. Also, that it never stops.
What is your experience with mom guilt?