I had a very different post ready for today. I got some bad news that changed things. Something happened to a good friend of mine last night. Her children’s father died. Not her husband but the father of her children. She told me “there is no manual for how to deal with this side of things.” All I could do was cry for those kids, for my friend and for all people who go through the loss of a close loved one. My parents have both had battles with illness. My dad had Cancer two years ago and nearly lost his battle several times. Luckily he did not.
I remember every night I would leave the hospital prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. I would tell him how much I loved him, kiss and hug him and walk to my car in tears. I spent days, weeks, months in that hospital with him and then months with him at home after. Only for him to go back a few months later. I was 28 at the time and I wasn’t prepared even knowing it was a very real possibility.
These kids are teenagers. Teenagers who just saw their father and never had that time to prepare. They didn’t get a hug, kiss and last goodbye.
I asked my mom how she deals with not having her parents, my grandparents around. She says “you learn to live with it but you are never prepared for it.”
I know this post feels rambling and it feels like where is the point? The point is there is not one.
Im sick for my friend and what she has to go through and for her sweet children and the loss of their father. I am sick for anyone who has lost a parent. I have several close friends who have lost a parent, a sibling etc. It is never easy and you are never prepared.
Make sure you are always telling your loved ones how you feel, how much they mean to you and how much you love them. You have no idea what tomorrow is and tomorrow is never guaranteed. You never know when you’ll get bad news.
Please say a prayer for my friend and for her sweet children.
My heart goes out to those kids! It’s never easy to lose a loved one. You are so right about not taking family for granted and letting them know how much we love them.
I’m so sorry for you and your friend. I always feel the weight when my friends have a trial, too. I hope the best for the kids and know that time and happy life experiences will help heal their hearts.
My heart breaks for those children and everyone effected by the loss.
My heart goes out to your friend and her kids. My grandmother died when my uncles were 16, while they had an opportunity to say goodbye they (nor my mom, aunts and other uncles) were prepared. I can only imagine the heartache of not being able to say goodbye or to say “I love you” one more time. Prayers.
My heart goes out to those kids. I was 20 when I lost my father to cancer last year and it’s still a terrible, crippling feeling. The best way for them to cope with this is to be together as a family, and remember him for who he was. It’s cliche, but time helps…you never get over this, you just learn how to deal with it. I’ll be sure to keep them in my thoughts and prayers.
Neely, I’m so sorry to hear about this. You’re right, there’s nothing that can prepare your friend for how to deal with trauma like this. She’s lucky she has a friend like you to look after her.
THere are no words that will comfort the children especially a teenager right now. But there is a very special camp that helps them along they are road of healing. Camp Fire Camp El Tesoro de la Vida (the treasure of life) is a fabulous one week camp only for children who have lost someone in their life. please share this information with your friend when the time is right. no child is ever turned away due to their special scholarship fund. It will be the biggest healing week of their first year of grief.
Wow. No words. Keeping them all in my thoughts and prayers.
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My prayers are with you, your friend, and her children. I understand from a point of empathy because I lost my father as a teenager as well. It’s hard to understand at first and monumental experience in life will feel a bit empty. However, with age and wisdom comes healing and understanding. Sending hugs and lots of favor their way.
Oh no, this is too sad. My thoughts are with you and your friend and her kids!
That is so sad! My heart definitely goes out to those kids and to your friend. I hope they get through this terrible time .
Ohmygoodness this is so sad. My heart goes out to your friend and her dear children… I can’t even imagine what they’re going through. Thanks for the reminder to always express love to our family/friends, I guess we just never know what could happen.
That’s so terrible and you’re right, there is nothing that can prepare anyone, especially a child for this. You, your friend, and her kids will be in my prayers.
As a child of a Father who died young ( I was 8) my Brothers were 13 and 3. I can tell you that teens handle death much better then young kids do. its is something of a saving grace that they are teens. It is very sad to lose a parent young,, I never got a chance to know my Dad. he died of a heart attack after dinner one night at 42 in the living room. Being 8 it was extraordinarily difficult to understand. Once your a teen you have a better gripe on reality and can deal with death and its aftermath to make things easier. As someone who lost 8 relatives starting with my Dad in a row, that is 8 deaths every year for 8 years from the age of 8. I can tell you that kids are resilient and they do preserver beyond any adults expectations. My hope is he left life insurance for these kids , accounts to care for them and addressed everything legally in his will. Fathers needs to be responsible for their Mother to care for their expenses. My Dad left nothing and my Mother had a terrible life . We lived in abject poverty without most things other kids take for granted like new shoes and clothing . I will extend my prayers to them and hope the kids are doing ok and he left them taken care of. Let us hope that all the prayers for this family will help them. Sorry for your loss .
Thoughts and prayers are with you, your friend and her children. There is no way to prepare for this you are right. Even when you think you have the time to prepare when that moment comes you are never ready. I am so sorry.
I am so sorry for your bad news. Stay strong. (and your friend too)
I’m so sorry for your friend and her children, I hope they have lots of family around to support and love them.
That is a really hard situation to deal with for the teenagers. I hope they have some good memories of the father, even though the parents are apart. God bless them all.
I lost my mom to cancer at a young age so I truly know what they are going through and she is right, you will never be prepared and never have the exact words that are needed to be said. Tons of prayers and positive thoughts being sent their way.
Huge hugs and prayers to you & your children.
death is such a hard thing to deal with. I am praying for this family!
i lost my dad when I was 10, so my heart goes out to those kiddos. Prayers for them… and your friend who will certainly have to comfort them. It’s so hard.
That’s horrible. And so true that no one prepares you for that side of the matter – someone you once loved and is still a big part of your life, at least, your children’s lives. My thoughts are with them, I hope they have a big family to lean on during this difficult time.