Having two little kids I feel like babyproofing is something we are always doing! We discover things daily that they can reach or get into that they couldn’t before. We take so much caution in making sure they are protected and safe. But do we do the same for our relationship? One of the biggest things couples fight about is money. One of the highest causes of divorce is issues surrounding money. So why not money proof your relationship? That’s exactly what I am going to share with you today: how to money-proof your relationship.
How To Money-Proof Your Relationship
Lay it all out there before: Listen we all go into relationships with baggage. Sometimes it’s past relationships or things about ourselves we want to change. Sometimes it’s money issues. I think in any relationship as things are getting serious you should be upfront about things. If you have a bunch of student loans, credit card debt, a mortgage, an expensive car payment etc. These are things your partner needs to know about. Think of it as getting financially naked.
Don’t hide things: So now you’ve gotten past the laying it all out there but your shopping habits are becoming an issue you don’t want your partner to know about. Don’t hide bags. Don’t hide bills. Don’t lie. The truth will always come out and it’s unnecessary. Sure you can hide a surprise or don’t tell them about a gift you got them but don’t hide a spending habit. When you hide things from your spouse you may end up in a situation where your credit plummets and that can really be an issue for your both.
Set a budget together: Andrew and I from early in our relationship have been super open about budgeting and our finances. We have a budget on Google Sheets (highly recommend) where we have all the bills that stay the same (mortgage, car, student loans, subscriptions, etc) and then at the end of each month we go in and put what we spent in other areas (entertainment, date nights, clothing, groceries, gas, wants, kid stuff). We try to stick to a certain number amount for all of those things and we roll things over from time to time. Say we had a $200 a month for entertainment but we didn’t spend it all we roll the rest to the next month or put it towards something like show tickets or a concert. Setting a budget together should really help any potential bumps in the road.
Be on the same page about wants/needs: In any relationship, there is USUALLY a spender and a saver. Sometimes that may go back and forth (it usually does for us). But try to be on the same page about wants and needs. Maybe something you view as a need is a want to your partner and vice versa. Sit down and really try to understand each other’s wants and needs in the ways of finances. This brings me to…
Try to see where the other is coming from: We were all raised differently and we all have different views and goals. That’s what makes our world such an amazing place. But in a relationship, you always need to try to see where the other is coming from. Maybe you’re saving for a new house down payment and your partner is hyper-focused on it and says “no wants for 6 months” and to you, that seems a little restrictive. Sit down and try to explain that maybe you just cut wants in half or see why they are so concerned about it.
Ask the important questions early: This is a BIG one. Just like I said about getting financially naked you also need to ask the big important questions early. Do you want kids? Kids are expensive trust me. Do you want a house? How big of a house and in what location? Do you plan to drive your cars for a long time until there is no car payment? Do you want to go back to school at some point and may need loans? Do you financially support a relative? These are things your partner and you HAVE TO TALK ABOUT! It will save so much frustration in the future.
What do you think are other ways to money-proof your relationship? Anything you want to add below?
This post was originally published in 2019 and has been updated for 2022.
Great tips, Neely! I always try to remember: communication first! ❤️✨
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
Talking about money/finances early is so important. I’ve always been comfortable talking about it but my spouse was not so it took a little getting used to. I think it’s important you both know where you’re at in terms of cash flow, budgets, etc. at all times. And talk to each other before big purchases.
Great advice and probably a lot of couples don’t take all these things into consideration but can lead to bigger problems if not discussed early in a relationship.
My husband and I have everything on a google sheet too! It works perfectly since we can both access it. We did have a lot of these conversations when we were engaged. We go back and forth on who is the saver, and who is the spender, too. I think it depends on what type of saving/spending it is and what we feel is the best use of our money.
This was a question my husband and I covered early on. But we didn’t have a budget until our 5th or 6th year together. I wish we had done it sooner but I am glad we did when we did. We’re both spenders so it’s hard to save but we’re figuring it out!
Those are really useful and important tips, communication and honesty are two essential factors.
My wife and I never talked about money stuff, it just worked out effortlessly. The start was a healthy relationship that is based on trust.
Yes, I agree that it is very important that we don’t hide things with our partners especially with money. Also, it would be nice to have a budget. We actually have one though we’re not really consistent in following it. I guess we just have to try harder.
Thank you for sharing this post. You just inspired us to money-proof our relationship.
We always work together on the budget and work as a team. Though there some we dont do and I think we should do it.
These are some great tips! We always set our monthly budget together ☺. And yes, you are right, we should not hide things related to finance or any habits from our partners.
I so completely agree about talking about these potentially large issues early. Saves a lot of confusion and worry from happening.
These are great tips! Luckily, my husband and I have always been on the same page about money. I feel like it’s one of those things that can really make or break your relationship!
This is such great advice! We even separated our “fun spending” money within our shared account. That way we didn’t have to fight about specific spending. We can buy whatever we want without talking to the other person, so long as we pay for it “ourselves.” It helped alleviate so much stress.