I turn 41 in a little over two weeks which is crazy. I am not someone who gets bogged down on my age though. I tell my kids that getting older is a privilege and frankly I feel more comfortable in my skin and more sure of my life and decisions at 41 than I did at 31. Hindsight is of course 20/20 and it’s so easy for me now to look back 10 years and think of what I would tell that 31 year old newlywed who had no idea what life was about to look like. I made a list of 10 things I would tell my 31 year old self but honestly, there is so much more.
10 Things I Would Tell My 31 Year Old Self
Stop spending money on coffee: I got a Nespresso maker when I was 36 and I so wish I had done it sooner. The coffee is a thousand times better and I would have saved so much money.
Find a workout you LOVE and stick with it: At this time in my life I was sort of working out. I would do a little elliptical here and there or bounce around weights at the gym. I don’t think I really figured out the right way to work out till after I had kids.
Don’t spend money on cheap things for your home- wait until you can afford nicer things: I was so focused on filling our first home that we bought so much cheap furniture, prints, etc. I wish I had saved that money and over time purchased one nicer thing at a time.
SAVE YOUR MONEY! You do not NEED those things you’re buying: On top of that I was buying so much crap I did not need! So much random home decor from places like Hobby Lobby and Homegoods, clothes I didn’t really love etc.
Life is going to literally chew you up and spit you out in the next two years- you will survive it: The Year I turned 33 was one of the hardest of my life both personally and professionally. But I got through it. I am a much stronger person for it and it showed me a lot about people around me.
It’s going to take time to start a family so travel as much as you can: We ended up struggling with infertility and needed to do IVF to have kids. I wish instead of worrying so much about when I would get pregnant I had enjoyed that time and traveled more.
Spend more time with your grandparents: I spent a ton of time with them don’t get me wrong but now that they’ve been gone almost 4 years I wish I had more.
Forgive your sister and let go of the hurt: My sister recently passed away from a drug overdose. We had a LOT of issues and it was a really hard relationship. But she’s gone now and I am working through the regret I have. I wish I could tell myself to try harder.
Prioritize your marriage and date nights: We are good about prioritizing our marriage but go through ups and downs with date nights. I really wish, especially before we had kids we had done more of them! Now with two kids, activities, etc it can be a lot harder to find the time.
You will find your people: At 31 I was going through some friendship changes and felt really lonely. I wish that girl knew she would in fact find her people. It can be hard when you’re lonely but the more you put yourself out there the better.
Sending so much love to you regarding the loss of your sister. Losing anyone is hard but when the relationship is complicated, it makes it that bit harder. Just remember you did what you had to do at the time. I have cut people out of my life due to drugs and booze and then when they died wished I hadnt but I keep reminding myself that it was something that had to be done for my own mental health and to help them as well. Take care of yourself xx
I love this. I think there is value in everything you came up with to tell your younger self.
I’m so sorry about your sister. Having a loved one with an addiction is incredibly difficult. No one will know exactly how difficult until they experience it themselves. Don’t be hard on yourself. Life is difficult enough.
Sending so much love to you regarding the loss of your sister. Losing anyone is hard but when the relationship is complicated, it makes it that bit harder. Just remember you did what you had to do at the time. I have cut people out of my life due to drugs and booze and then when they died wished I hadnt but I keep reminding myself that it was something that had to be done for my own mental health and to help them as well. Take care of yourself xx
This is a great exercise everyone should go through. I think it is somewhat healing. Thanks for sharing!
I love this. I think there is value in everything you came up with to tell your younger self.
I’m so sorry about your sister. Having a loved one with an addiction is incredibly difficult. No one will know exactly how difficult until they experience it themselves. Don’t be hard on yourself. Life is difficult enough.
Great article. I totally agree. Don’t buy cheap and nasty. It never works
Wow. If I could look back what I would say!! You’ve encouraged me to write to my younger self. Thanks for sharing.