As I have gotten older I have realized a lot of things about friendships. The main one is to have friends, you have to BE a friend. Not just a surface level friend, but you have to be the type of friend you’d want in return. You have to put out there what you want.
How To Be The Type Of Friend You’d Want
- Don’t make it about you: It can be so easy when someone tells us something that’s going on in their life either good or bad to make it about us. Not even on purpose. Maybe them telling you a story sparked a memory of that bad thing that happened to you. While I think telling your experience is not wrong, just don’t make it all about you. Keep it about them. If they are having a bad time, remember it’s about them. When it’s about you, they will be there for you!
- Be there even when you don’t want to be: I know we all feel pulled in a million different directions every single day. Whether you are single or married with kids, life is busy. Sometimes a friend needs us and we feel like we can’t be there or frankly, we don’t want to be because we are tired or just need to chill. But you know what, sometimes we have to be there even when we don’t want to be. That might mean sitting by their side or getting on the phone at 10PM when you’re exhausted.
- Go out of your way: Make the dinner, call to check in, drop by the hospital to see them, just go out of your way for the ones that matter. Remember, they will go out of their way when you need it to.
- Check in with them: Are they going through a rough time? Have you just not talked to them in a while? Check in with them. A simple “hey just thinking about you, hope you’re having a great week!” goes a LONG way.
- Put in the time/effort: Friendship is a two way street. You can’t expect someone to put in the time and effort if you don’t. It’s also not always an even street. Sometimes you are putting in more, sometimes they are. Just like with any other relationship.
A few things to remember about friendships:
- To have a friend you have to be a friend
- Quality over quantity ALWAYS
- Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever
What are your thoughts on this? Anything you’d add?
Great tips, Neely, I especially agree on putting in the effort! Friendship is definitely a two-way street and requires constant work, especially since life gets in the way as we grow up and move on to new things. I always make it a point to schedule regular get-togethers with my girls, both in a group and one-on-one! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Very good points. I think the idea that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever certainly hits home.
YES YES YES!! I think remembering that it’s not all about you is KEY. Sometimes it can be inconvenient if someone needs you when you don’t feel like leaving home, but you have to remember that you would want someone to be there for you if the situation was reversed.
I agree is quality over quantity for sure. I have a good handful of close friends that I adore.
You should totally act as a friend how you want your friends to ask towards you. Do unto others as you would have done unto you, right?
I was only thinking about this the other day. Am I doing all I can to be a good friend? So this was a timely read, thank you.
Definitely agree with all of this. I also like that you mentioned not everyone is meant to be in your life forever – so true.
-Lauren
Quality is definitely so important. It’s great to have many friendships, but it’s important to give each friendship the nurturing it needs!
-Jennifer
https://maunelegacy.com
Great tips!! Not interrupting with your own memory can be so hard but it totally helps with friendships!
So good… and such a principle to live by!
These are some important lessons, so glad you shared this! I think more people need to read this!
Excellent things to keep in mind. As with all relationships, friendships take love and nurturing to keep them strong. I am thankful to have a small handful of amazing friends!
Yes to all of this!!! It’s hard to find good friends the older I get!
I can really relate to the be there even when you don’t want to be-heading to a friend’s party soon and all I really want to do is stay home alone in peace and quiet after a long work week surrounded by loud kids. 🙂
Oh I definitely agree with all of this!
I really don’t have anything to add as you have covered it very well! I needed to hear this today because I feel like I haven’t been a very good friend lately. Going to remedy that this weekend!
These are some great sounding tips I think we all want to be the best sort of friend we can be, but there are times when we do get wrapped up in ourselves.
These are the exact same realizations I’ve come to in the last couple of years! Very eloquently put.
These are really great tips. I think we are all guilty sometimes of not being as good a friend as we possibly can be. These tips will help remind us!
I’ve had a number of ‘friends’ that should read this. None of them knew how to be a true friend.
Yes, you nailed it. Friendship is all about being focused on them even when it is not convenient.
Very good post! I have some very good friends that live an ocean away, but we make time to check in on each other and really see how the other person is doing…and the distance doesn’t get in the way of that!
Great post as always. So important to remember!
Friendship takes work just like anything else! In some friend relationships, there is usually one friend who does more giving such as initiating calls, texts, meals, etc. To have friends we must be friendly and reach out to others!
Friendship is definitely a two way street. Sometimes it leans more on one side or the other, but in the end the effort balances out. The little extra quick messages or calls just to say hi can make such a difference!