Today I have one of my dearest friends Meghan to talk a little about marriage advice while I am sipping a mai tai and reading probably my 9th book of the week. Meghan and her husband are two of the most amazing people I have ever met and I adore them so!!
Hi there! I’m Meghan, and I blog (very infrequently now that I am a mother!) over at The Perfect Compilation Tape. Neely and I met many, many moons ago, and have traveled quite a bit together. Fun fact? Whenever we travel, we find a barre class to take together – even if it means getting up at 5:00 a.m. while on vacation. Anywho, I am so thrilled for her and her new HUSBAND! Congrats, Neely and A!
Since she’s off honeymooning in one of my favorite places in the world, I am excited to guest post for her and share my “Top 5” pieces of marriage advice.
(This is Mike, my bearded husband of almost six years. We just had our first baby – a girl – last fall, and it’s been a wild ride moving into the next chapter of our marriage!)
I am certainly no expert, but here are a few tips that I have learned myself over the years, and I try to keep these in mind each day.
5.) Keep things in perspective.
From wedding planning to buying a home to having a baby, life can be stressful and chaotic. But honestly? I don’t remember what type of flowers I carried down the aisle. I feel silly that I got so mad at Mike when he forgot his driver’s license at our closing. And the 3am argument over what to do with the screaming baby? It’s a total blur. But I do remember how I felt when I saw Mike for the first time on our wedding day. And I remember that first night in our new home and how excited we were. And I will always remember how Mike looked at me while I was in labor. And it’s those moments I try and focus on when life gets crazy.
4.) Date each other.
This is easier said than done, in my opinion, but so necessary. Now that Mike and I have a baby, this is a little harder for us to schedule. But it’s so important to have time alone. In the spirit of full disclosure, I knew we needed to work on this when we were at a funeral a few weeks ago, and I realized that the funeral was the most time we spent together alone in weeks. Crazy, right? As a result, we’re in the process of finding a baby-sitter so we can get out of the house and have dinner without worrying about our daughter throwing food on the floor:)
3.) Choose your battles.
Mike and I are polar opposites in a lot of ways. I would rather travel / he would rather stay home. I am a neat freak / he’s messy. And despite the fact that he leaves his crap everywhere, I’ve come to realize that it’s not worth making a federal case over it.
2.) Learn your spouse’s communication style – and respect it.
See #3. We’re polar opposites. Therefore, if we get into an argument, I am the type who wants to resolve it immediately. Mike needs time to cool off. So, as hard as it is, I’ve learned that I need to respect his space when he asks for it.
1.) Laugh. At yourself. At each other. A lot.
If there is one thing we know how to do, it’s laugh. Marriage doesn’t always need to be so serious. Have a little fun. Relax.
All good advice, I did all that plus build a new home and decorated it, worked 2 hours away and commuted, got promotion after promotion and made great money, played all his sports with him and spent weekend grocery shopping and cooking constantly for him / his friends/ his family/and he still left me for a younger version. When men turn 30 they get bored and start looking around, a younger girl is always waiting to take your life . Never be fooled, husbands do not hold interest very long.
All wonderful tips! We are coming up on our 10th anniversary soon and it’s amazing how much we have changed as far as working out problems and what is important to us. I love that you said still date. Even if we can’t get a babysitter, just spending “couple” time alone in the evening is so special to me.
All good advice, I did all that plus build a new home and decorated it, worked 2 hours away and commuted, got promotion after promotion and made great money, played all his sports with him and spent weekend grocery shopping and cooking constantly for him / his friends/ his family/and he still left me for a younger version. When men turn 30 they get bored and start looking around, a younger girl is always waiting to take your life . Never be fooled, husbands do not hold interest very long.
Such a great list! I totally agree with all of them. Laughing is key!
All wonderful tips! We are coming up on our 10th anniversary soon and it’s amazing how much we have changed as far as working out problems and what is important to us. I love that you said still date. Even if we can’t get a babysitter, just spending “couple” time alone in the evening is so special to me.