Today is Andrew’s and my 8th wedding anniversary. We got married on Saturday, October 11th, 2014 and it was truly ONE of the best days of our lives. Since then we’ve had two kids so obviously those rank up there too now. In our 8 years of marriage, I have learned a lot, and we have learned a lot as a couple. When we got married we hadn’t even known each other for two full years so there really are some growing pains that happen. I wanted to share these 8 things I’ve learned in 8 years of marriage which I think really apply to any relationship.
8 Things I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage
Fight Fair: I feel like in our first year of marriage we definitely didn’t always fight fair. We held grudges and really didn’t know how to communicate with each other well. But we’ve gotten better and I would say now we fight fair.
Sometimes Going To Bed Angry Is The Right Call: I used to say never go to bed angry but honestly, sometimes it’s better to go to bed and have the night to cool off and wake up with a clear head. Sure not everyone will be thrilled with this but honestly, sometimes the outcome is better.
Don’t Compare: We do different things in our marriage around the house and outside of the house. I tend to be in charge of kids’ appointments, birthday parties, buying gifts, and making sure our schedule makes sense. Andrew is in charge of stocking the house with all the things we need and making sure we don’t run out. Just one example. But we can’t compare what each other does. We both have different strengths and we make it work for our household and our marriage. But don’t compare what one is doing with what the other does.
You Are On The Same Team: At the end of the day your spouse is your teammate and your team needs you both to win.
The Hard Things Can Make You Or Break You: We, like most couples, have gone through hard things. Most notable was our struggle with infertility. This is something that could have easily broken us but instead, it made us so much stronger. When the hard things come up remember that they will make you stronger.
Figure Out Your Big Goals Together: Maybe this is a bigger house or a vacation, or maybe you have the goal of sending your kids to certain schools, etc. Figure these out together and be on the same page about your goals and where your money is going.
Your Marriage ALWAYS Comes First: Once kids are in the picture it’s so easy to forget about your partner but remember one day those kids will go off and make their own lives and you don’t want to look at your partner and not know them. Your marriage HAS to come first always!
Never Stop Being Silly: One of Andrew’s and my favorite things to do is put music on while we clean at night. We love to dance around the kitchen and be silly together. We love to have tickle fights and make each other laugh. Never stop being silly.
What is something you’ve learned in your marriage?
I am 30 years married to the same woman. I have learned so many things and is still learning a lot more. One of the things I make to avoid fights: you just have to respect your spouse’s opinion and negotiate what’s best for the family. Someone has to give in.
What lovely advice! Marriage will always challenge all couples, and it is up to them to fight against that challenges, continue to become a team and hold on to each other.
I am 30 years married to the same woman. I have learned so many things and is still learning a lot more. One of the things I make to avoid fights: you just have to respect your spouse’s opinion and negotiate what’s best for the family. Someone has to give in.
Congratulations on your anniversary! I enjoyed reading through your list – your comment on it’s OK to go to bed angry made me think!
These are great points to remember. I think it’s too easy to forget so many of them when life swallows you up with everything you have to do.
Every couple who wants to get married should read this. I know I do.
This is interesting, it’s a long time to be in marriage. Thank you for sharing what you learned and hope for a long life of happy marriage.
This is great advice! I have been married for 30 years and we practice most of what you suggested!
Nnniiiiccceeee…I love tickle fights a lot! You are the first person I’ve heard talking about going to bed angry. I should try it sometime.
What lovely advice! Marriage will always challenge all couples, and it is up to them to fight against that challenges, continue to become a team and hold on to each other.
every couple who wants to get married should read this. well written post
What an insightful article perfect for every married couple to apply in their life together.