I have a hard time opening myself up on the blog. I feel like whenever I have in the past I get a really great response but then there are the judgemental comments that make me retreat. Today I am trying something new. I have seen posts like this on a few blogs so here goes…
Things I Don’t Tell You
I don’t tell you…
That I suffered (suffer) from very bad postpartum anxiety and depression. Not the extent I have seen with some people but I had a really hard time leaving the house alone with Liam for months. Everything scared me and my sleep suffered a lot. I finally had to see a doctor and get on some medication, and while it has helped, I still have really bad days where I just want to retreat inward. It’s getting better but it can be a struggle.
Working from home is really hard sometimes. I crave interactions with people and I feel really lonely some days. I love my little boy more than anything, but lets face it he’s not a huge conversationalist.
People have asked why I never show Liam’s face on my blog or social media, and I am here to tell you why. He hasn’t given me permission. When he is 10, or 12, or 20 I don’t want him to be upset that I shared personal photos of him for the world to see. So we made a decision when I was pregnant that his privacy is our number one priority, and for that reason I will never be sharing photos where you can see his face. I have received many nasty comments about this which only make me feel that much better about my decision. I have no issue with others sharing their children as I think everyone has to make that decision for themselves. This is just the one we have chosen.
I don’t know if I want another baby. Being pregnant was really hard. I really didn’t love it. I am grateful for science and IVF and that we have Liam, but do I want to do all the shots again? Do I want to gain the weight again? I don’t know. Plus, well babies are expensive and that’s a huge consideration. I think ultimately we will but are you ever sure?
I will try to be more open on this blog. I will try to share more of my personal struggles, triumphs, and thoughts. But please respect me not sharing those of my husband and little boy.
What is one thing you don’t share with people a lot?